Retro Review- Gotham Nights-Hot in the City Tonight

Okay, let’s get this out of the way. I promised Fat Wonder Woman, and here she is, in all her glory. And there are few others I didn’t notice the first time reading this. And by a few others, every freaking woman in the Justice League, I don’t know if I should even bother with saying any more. This Panel was worth the 4 buck I paid to get the whole city. And I feel like I shouldn’t go on. This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life.

This makes as much sense as you think it does.


Like I said in my last post, I picked up the Batman mini-series, Gotham Nights. I was excited because I always feel like Gotham needs to be fluffed up a little more, but no one seems to want to get into the task. They just like having Gotham a shit hole. Which works for a while, but then you want to know more about the people in the city; like who is stupid enough to live there. There has to be a reason people are still there, that there is still a reason for the fight. I have always felt that it just as much the people of Gotham’s fight as it is Bruce’s. The fact of the matter he is the leading force for them to want to change.
It follows as cast of six characters, Rosemary, a Woman working at a donut shop; Joel and his wife, Emma, an elderly African American couple, a Young woman, Jennifer, and her friend, Jimmy; and lastly, Dio, an ex con on parole.
The Comic starts off with a grand voice about how all the people in the city are basically not a back drops but real people. And that they have their own stories, besides being hostage folder for Batman’s colorful Villains but the jury is still out if that is true or not. Issue one takes place mostly in the train station.

Met Rosemary. And no, she is not having a baby.


The first character we are introduced to is Rosemary, and she is….well, kinda weird. She is in love with her customer, Frank, who just sees her as the fat chick he buys Donuts from. Nothing more. This is important, so remember it. Frank doesn’t like Rosemary, but she believe it with her little heart that he wants her hard core. And that she is very attractive. You can’t help but feel bad for this woman, she lives in a fantasy world. (I mean, I do too, I think I have friends. The different is I know I don’t) But she gets a lot more fun. She is the one we can thank for fat everyone and crying bitch Superman.

Old people with a case of old.


We get a taste of Joel and Emma, who are heading over to their Doctor, because they have a case of old. Joel bitches about how their new doctor sucks and how their old Doctor, who just happened to be Thomas Wanye, was like Christ. And of course they talk about his murder because that is something everyone knows about. This makes you wonder if the Wanyes were the last people who were murdered that anyone cares about.

Wait, you mean not only gay people get AIDS?


This awkward transitions to Jennifer and her friend Jimmy; Jimmy has the hots for Jennifer, but instead of being forward, he makes her think he has AIDS. That is not how you get a girl to like you, but maybe the rules are different in Gotham. Well, she miss hears what he tells her and am not sure if this is supposed to be funny or what. There is something so, weird, about having two characters shout on the tops of their lungs about AIDS in a train station. But what do I know, I was young in ’92, I couldn’t even tie my shoes yet. Maybe that was socially expectable. And Jennifer thinks Jimmy is gay because those are the only people who get AIDS in her mind. Which really is just a reflection of what people were thinking at the time, but isn’t true at all. Sorry guys, AIDS is everywhere. You homophobic bitch.

You are someone used to punch


Well Dio gets introduced by Batman chasing a man down, saying he wants the child. So there was a kid kidnapped? It never really comes up again and he knows that he collared Dio at some point in the past. Everyone is watching Batman call this guy out, in daylight, then he just, walks away? I don’t know, looks like Bruce just doesn’t give a shit anymore and wants a nap. Everyone just kinda leaves and that is the last of Batman for a long time. It seems that Batman went from being a shadowing figure in the night to, oh, look at him run through the station.
Later Dio is in the police station, talking to some guy who tells Dio that he isn’t the father of his wife’s baby, as she is the town’s bicycle. Dio over reacts because he is an angry stereotype. There is no real reason that he is fucking angry all the time, other than he is stereotype. The Angry ex-con who happens to be a Mexican, maybe he is mad he has to live in New Jersey. I know I would.
The rest of the issue is a little bland. Jennifer goes on a date with a writer, which I am assuming she paid because my experience has been that they are poor assholes. Joel is giving about a year or two to live, for his case of old, which might have been nicer coming from Thomas Wanye, because all other Doctors are assholes. Dio gets harassed to get a job and gets mad at his whore wife. Rosemary eats donuts? I don’t know, we don’t see her again until issues two.
Issue two just opens with a few different stories. Dio is running around with his ex-con buddies and they commit a robbery. Dio gets away with it and comes back to yell at his wife because he is upset the baby might not be his but he doesn’t ask that question. Because, you know, that would make sense. And be adult, but and Dio is just a giant child. I think the thing I love most about him, is that he never uses a door, but is always going in and out of their apartment window. Like he is taking hints from Superman.
Joel picks up a gun after hearing his case of old is terminal, and is trying to get Emma to commit suicide with him. Because that is the logical reaction to hearing that you have terminal old. Emma flips out and Joel realizes that it is a stupid idea. Because it is. He has a good reason I guess, Emma was always a little sicker than he was, so he wants to protect her from being alone. He wants them to be together but Emma points it is against their religion as well. Which makes Joel rethink his plan….I feel like now is when I should point out that this comic is getting more and more fucked up. After all, I’m adult and weird out by the whole, murder suicide idea, what if I was a ten year old boy. This would be, a what the fuck were they thinking? The same gets with the AIDS commentary. I understand that maybe this story wasn’t meant for children but really, what were they thinking? This isn’t good story telling, it is odd, and weird. THIS IS A BATMAN COMIC! Have batman show up and punch them for being stupid.

Look at all the happiness, I HATE IT!


Jennifer and her date goes well until she sees the batsignal in the sky. Or a bug flew up her nose. I’m not sure. She also finds out that her date might not be the nicest guy in the world, which is funny because she was telling her buddy Jimmy that she is okay with causal sex. Which I mean that it is okay for her being the one to use people, not someone using her, what a bitch.

No more booze for me.


Jimmy sits alone at his apartment, when he is attacked by an outline woman. This comes out of no were and it is clear he has been drinking. But it still makes no sense at all. It comes out in a later issue, what is going on, but I’m not gonna get to it today, sadly. But it is just one of the moments on, what the hell is going on? WHO IS THIS BITCH?

But I have saved the best for last. Rosemary’s dream. Which proves to that we were wrong, FRANK WAS BATMAN! This Dream, I can’t tell if they are making fun of Mary Sues or what. But what I do know is this made my 4 bucks worth it. I saw this, and knew I didn’t need to finish the next two issues, I had found my gold.

Shit is about to get real….


Oh no!


Rosemary for the win


Oh yea


You know, I think this is the best relationship Batman has ever had.


I mean, that is sad. It is just some Chick’s dream….and she is making everyone fat with her Donuts…


No. It was your shitty fucked up dream


What makes this great is this is a man that she just sells donuts too. He doesn’t even look at her that way. Why is it in her mind that he loves her? Or that Batman can’t handle himself? Or why is it in her dreams she is a rail and every other woman is fat?
There are a few problems with the story, but this one is just perfect. The other characters seem to be in it too much, but Rosemary is in it just the perfect amount. I will pick this up tomorrow, as it is time for me to get studying for those finals.

And just an aside, this ad keep showing up for no reason in each one of them…..And it weirds me out too.

Batman has friends? I thought Jim was more of a father figure to him…

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1 Comment

  1. […] the amount the fun that I thought I would. And I only spent 4 bucks on those and turned them into two posting. This I could barely get through because it was pretty much unreadable. Gotham Nights I […]


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