I see what you did there Batman INC

Oh you are planning something, aren’t you, you cheeky monkey.

Batman INC came out yesterday and I’m super excited. Like, crazy excited. I mean, it is Talia verses Bruce and I don’t believe for a second that Batman lost to freaking Talia. Sorry, I don’t. Yea, I know it started out with him being arrested and I’m calling bullshit on that. Why? Because it is fucking Batman. Because he gave death the middle finger like it was nothing. I’m thinking it is part of the plan. This is not how Bruce’s career of batman ends, it can’t. If this is how it is going to end, then they should have left him dead at the end of Final Crisis. Because it is insulting to the reader and the character to have it end this way. He isn’t going to go out like a little bitch. He is going to go out in a blaze of glory I can’t even imagine. Like bare knuckle boxing six Grizzy Bears high on PCP in a wedding dress. Okay….maybe not the wedding dress, but you get the idea. He is going down fighting, not just giving up. I think it has to be a fake out. I mean, this is the man who gives Death the middle finger because he was too busy and used Darksied’s plan to his advantage. He is not going to go out by being arrested. Besides, any changes they have on him, I could see him buying cops off. Or have some plan for it. There has to be a plan for this.

And even he is being completely serious; I don’t see a lot of his crew listening. Dick would keep fighting. Hell Dick would show up as Batman to get Bruce out of jail. Because if Damian is really dead, Dick would be fighting to make that kid’s death mean something, even if Bruce was unwilling to do so. Which I imagine would snap Bruce out of being a little bitch. So the arrest might be him bluescreen of deathing. And he will be back soon enough. Plus there is always the pits and Talia is a big enough of a bitch to throw Damian’s body into a pit. Which would be awesome to see a half mad Damian begging for help. That would be another thing to snap Bruce out of it.

There is another fake out that is also pretty clear, at least to me. Damian isn’t dead. Because, well, he just isn’t. It is gambit. It has to be. I mean, the Kid is only bleeding from the mouth, not the head. That hood covering his head should be coved in blood. It isn’t. He got shot in the face, (at least that what was in the cross hair) he won’t have a face any more. Or it would be a hellva more fucked up than it was. Or if he did get in shot in the head, part of his skull would be missing. And there would be blood on the hood. But not even going with just that, we got a picture, not the body itself. And I have read enough to know you get a body man. Harry Potter taught me that much. Photos can be staged, and if Talia believes it, she is dumber than I though.
Not only that, it is issue one, and I know it is a continuation of a story, but really, they won’t kill him issue one. They would at least wait till issue two. And if they did kill him, Bruce would not lie down and take it. He would turn into PapaBat. The whole thing screams fake out. The whole issue does. Which is fine. It is still enjoyable.

I so have a hard time buying that Batman got shot in the face when he was getting the jump on some guy with a rifle. He was coming up behind this guy and he is fucking BATMAN. And the guy mentions that Robin’s protective hood was down. Bruce earlier gives Damian shit for the wearing the damn thing….If it was protecting him, while the fuck would Bruce tell him to lose it? What is wrong with this picture? Yea, this guy is fucking lying. And looks like Talia is buying it. Bruce also points out that they have all these hitman right where they want them.

Going back to the arrest, it’s a fake out. I am calling shenanigans if it isn’t. You can’t arrest Batman. It just doesn’t make sense. He has to have a plan. This has to be part of the plan. It has to be. After all, he faked that some of his crew is dead. They aren’t. We saw the dead hero club. There is a plan, I think, in all of it. And I can’t buy Batman just giving up. There is no way that he is giving up. I think this is just a way to fuck with Talia. Bruce is making mad grab for cards and I think it is going to work. She would be to excited to think she has him up against a wall. She already thinks she has killed some of his crew and we have the dead Heroes club.

So yea. The title alone gives it away, In the Eye of Leviathan. This is what Talia thinks is happening. Aside from the dead heroes club part, this is all design to make Talia think she is winning. She doesn’t have a body, she has a photograph. And those can lie. If she thinks she is winning, she will get sloppy. And that is what is going on.

I’m enjoying this, clearly. I wouldn’t write a rant going on about how it can’t be happening. I have read this issue like six times already, looking for hints on what is really going on. Plus I will be pissed if they kill off Damian. I love that kid!

But if there is one thing we can take away, it is this. Batcow is the best thing ever. ‘Nuff said.

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