Dear 95%, you Rock. Dear 5%, You need a little work

The title will make sense in a second. And I’m not trying to be a complete dick to anyone, (But I realize that this is how it can be read) I’m just annoyed this keeps freaking happening.

I have a rant I need to get off my chest. So no review today. This has been dwelling for a few days.

This isn’t directed at anyone in particular, but here is something I need to address.

I know I’m a girl. Trust me, I was there when my tits grew and got my first period. It’s a fact I am well aware of. I sometimes really get remind of this fact when I go into comic shops hardcore.

95% of the time, I don’t have a problem. Yes, some guys talk to me, about it is about comics and done like I’m one of the guys. And I like and don’t mind that. In fact, I enjoy that, because then I don’t feel like the weird kid. I know I’m the weird kid, and like being in like company, so when this happens, I get excited.

Sometimes, this isn’t always the case. This is when the horrible five freakin’ percent happens.

Some Men and Teenage boys feel the need to harass me in the comic shop when they see me. Because I have those tits I grew in seven grade. I don’t think they are trying too, but it fucking happens.

Last Wednesday, I was harassed by another customer at my local comic shop. It wasn’t like he was asking me why I was there, or anything, malice, it was just fucking annoying.

It boiled down to this:

Hey, you have tits, I’m going to keep hitting on you and testing your knowledge of comic books. Now, let me attack the second part of that sentence first.

I don’t pretend to know a lot about comic books. I won’t lie I’m in it for the good story. But I do research shit I don’t know, and so when it appears in one of my trades or comics, I know what the fuck is going on. And let’s just say that my first foray into DCU was Infinite Crisis and a few Wonder Woman trades by Gail Simone. My collection have grown a lot since then….I shudder to think how much money I have now poured into my comic addiction. Probably could have paid off my degree. (Just an Aside: In fact Infinite Crisis was my first trade I ever bought of DC. It was the second trade I ever owned, V for Vendetta being the first. BTW, Trade way fucking better than the movie. Yea, back to Infinite Crisis. I spent a lot of time trying to fucking understand what was going on.)

I don’t pretend to be the end all. But I will throw out what I know. And argue what I do know completely. And I will be the first one to tell you when I’m talking out my ass on things.

Does this mean that the size of my tits and the amount of comic book knowledge is related in some way? No.

I’m also not talking about suggesting comics to me, hell no, I love that. Lunar was nice enough to send me some of the arcs of the JLA he really liked, and I’m really appreciative. I can’t remember if I said thank you or not, so if I did, I’m gonna say Thanks again, and if not, I’m gonna hang my head in shame because my mother raised me better than that. So Thank You Lunar.

But when you are going out of your way to walk away from the card game you were playing because you heard me make a joke about Aquaman, and now have to follow me around the store talking about how Batman is great and inserting yourself into my friends and mine conversation about comics; that is when I start to have a problem.

One, it’s fucking rude. I mean, really, it is one thing if you have something to add, but when you have no idea what you are talking about acting like you do, you look like an ass. Stop it. Just stop it.

Two, I know Batman is great. He is great because he is an emotional stunned man child who is completely stupid when it comes to women. I mean, come on, what did he think was going to happen when he brings the girlfriend he thinks is evil down to the batcave? What the hell did he think was going to happen? That it would turn her good and stay with him forever?

But I’m getting off topic. If you over hear my friends and mine conversation and you add something, that’s cool. But when you are trying to keep us talking when the conversation has died, it is time to walk away. You are making us uncomfortable which is why we have stopped talking. And we don’t want to be rude to you.

Now to the first part of that sentence, I understand that guys hit on girls. That is fine, and getting upset and calling fowl on it is just dickish on my part. But like the conversation thing, when I have rejected your advance, it is time to knock it off. I have a fiancée, I make sure to mention it so it’s out there when I feel someone is hitting on me. I’m off limits and I let you know it. So stop hitting on me.

Now, joke flirting is a different matter. I do that with people I know. In public even. But I don’t know you, so when you see me flirt with the guy friend who is with me, and I mean walked in with me, it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it with you. Hell, I do it with my girlfriends too. But If I don’t know you, I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT WITH YOU! Surprisingly enough, I’m really shy even though I’m super loud.

So what sparked this rant? I was followed throughout my local comic shop were this guy took it upon himself to test me and hit on me. So it was pretty freaking annoying to basically be told I didn’t know anything about comics and hit on at the same time. He dropped that act when I starting talking about a Batman Arc he had never read, and just went to straight hitting on me. I keep letting the conversation drop, but he couldn’t take the hint and leave me and my friends alone. This went on for fifteen fucking minutes before he got the hint. Do I think this guy realized he was harassing me? No. I don’t think he was trying to do that. But he did.

So if you are part of this 5% or think you might be, stop for a second and think, are you harassing this woman, or you are you just trying to be friendly? Because, she, like you, is just there to pick up her comics, so just keep that in mind, please.

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15 Comments

  1. Guys like this guy give us a bad name.

    • Agreed. And I don’t think that he was trying to be really creepy. But he was. I have a lot of stories like these too…..Sad face.

      • Sadly, I can relate. I’m a bouncer, and I could write a book about life on the door.

      • Oh I bet. I was hanging out with a bartender and he was telling some horror stories.

  2. You’re welcome, Skadi. 😀

    I’m glad to hear that I beat the odds, though, with a 95% chance of success, it would be disheartening not to. ^_^;

    Still, I’m sorry to hear about the problems you had at the comic shop. I really don’t understand the point of these “macho pissing contests”, to be honest. It’s not like being a member of comic book fandom requires an admission test. I’ve been reading DC comic books for 27 years, and I’m fuzzy in a lot of areas.

    Honestly, the best thing to do when someone starts hitting on you like this is to shut them down by mentioning your fiancé/boyfriend casually in conversation as soon as a convenient opportunity arises. Unless they’re so dense that light bends around them or genuine amoral douchebags, that should get rid of them pretty quickly.

    • I do tell peeps I have a fiancée! Part of the.problem is I lost my engagement ring and haven’t gotten a replacement yet…..well not the big family heirloom one but I work in food and so that one only gets worn when we are doing things with the the families

      • I’m afraid there was a failure to communicate on my part. ^_^;

        I know that mentioning you have a fiancé was one of your strategies for dealing with unwanted flirtations, I’m just saying that it’s a good strategy for girls with hobbies traditionally considered geeky/nerdy in general.

        If a guy notices a girl who might have a common interest, some strike up a conversation just to see if they have anything in common and where it might lead. As you said, a ring on the appropriate finger is a good “I’m taken, keep your distance” indicator, but additional reinforcement doesn’t hurt. I learned that lesson the hard way, but the girl in question was very nice about it, so it wasn’t a traumatizing experience. 🙂

      • I totally get what you are saying. I never try to be rude and here I’m more talking about the signs that you have been told you have crossed the line; such as the, I have a boyfriend brush off, or the conversation dies. When you try to push the interaction farther than that, I get a little pissed off. I’m not in a comic shop to shot the shit the whole time, I am there to look at comics too. When someone starts cuting into that, and isn’t point out what they think is a good read, it is time to leave the other person alone. I don;t want to tell someone to leave me the fuck alone. I don’t like getting pushed that far. If I do, I come off looking like a dick. Because I am being one. I don’t like being a dick, ya know? I will if I have to be, but that isn’t where I want to go.

  3. No he was supper creepy, we agreed. Though I don’t remember us having to be dicks to him…

    • We weren’t. He got the picture when we stopped talking to him for about the sixth time. That was still to long, don’t you think?

  4. Sorry to hear that happened to you. I don’t know why guys think its okay to be gross to women in comic book shops. That’s happened to my girlfriend (who was made to check her pocketbook…not even store policy) at a large Manhattan shop, and my friend when she went to our local one. It’s down right rude and unacceptable.

    • Its not the worst one that has happened to me, that is reversed for crap that happens at the one in Santa Barbara, but it is still annoying. It is this weird backlash toward women for some guys I guess. Which I don’t then other stand why there is the whole brony thing is okay and i should go with it. I dont understand it because i dont like the show. But I am not gonna be a dick to them.

  5. On behalf of at least the rational portion of my gender, which you generously attribute up to 95% of our near half of the species, I’m sorry you have to deal with this kind of crap.

    I had a comic shop I rather liked up at college that was run by a pretty cool guy. It was one of those nice shops where the owner would give you a student discount and chat with you about the star of various story lines. But nonetheless, despite being a cool guy in most respects, it took three instances of my girlfriend demonstrating a superior knowledge of Batman to him for there to be any communication from him to her. Up until then she was like an accessory.

    And you’d think the owner of a comic book store, at least, would know that girls read comics and require all the respect that any obsessive male fan does, not least of all because they tend to be tired of having to prove their nerd cred to obnoxious comic fans, male and female.

    In fairness to the owner, he might not know because many girls prefer to get their books in trade form at a bookshop rather than go to a comic shop every Wednesday. Maybe that skews it. But of course part of the reason they don’t come in might have to do with how you treat them.

    You can debate whether the chicken or the egg came first as long as you like* but, in the end and at this point, if you want one, the other will be involved somewhere along the line. So comic stores, quit throwing money away. It doesn’t matter why girl comic fans have it in their mind that they should take their love of the medium elsewhere because, as many of you are now, you and your patrons aren’t helping.

    *Skadi, I’ve seen you have a distaste for woeful lapses in scientific knowledge but I ask that you allow me this metaphor even if we both know scientifically the answer must be the egg.

    • See I’m the comic buyer when it comes between me and the fiancée, so no owner would pull that with me and still get my money. I love they guys I go too, I know them by name, as they know my name.

      I’m also gald you have been enjoying my blog and going back through it. That’s why I wrote it!

      • Yeah, my girlfriend would love to be the comic reader in our relationship but she’s smart enough not to put her money into this addiction. Besides, if she ever gets antsy, she has my entire catalogue and any spare issues she picks up to get through first.

        I’m glad to hear you’ve got a good relationship with your LCS, thats the lifeblood of this hobby. My girlfriend hasn’t visited my current store but I can’t imagine them doing that to her. And I’d rather not, to be honest, I do like them so.

        As for your last point: you make a compelling argument.


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