GODAMNIT YOU SHOT HIM WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE!

Detective Comics got a new writing team. Who I’m beginning to think are idiots. They showed us this really pointless scene between Batman, Ivy, and a Hitman. Now, the penguin has put a hit on Ivy, so the hitman has knocked her and the Batman out. Then the hitman decides to monologue about how he would love to shot batman through the head, but gives him a pass.

Really, when are you going to get a better chance.

Why? THE FUCK IF I KNOW. It would have been better if they had not even bothered with the scene. Then you can pull a turn that it looks like Ivy got up on her own and leave the reader guessing on what happened. Did Ivy just lead Bats into a trap? Well, with Clayface showing up in the end, I’m gonna go with yes. They could have pulled a twist later down the line, but no, they went with this. I really feel like they are treating the reader like we are retard. So they spell out shit like this, but don’t bother to tell us where his girlfriend came from. All it does it explain why they wouldn’t shot Batman, because they are a fucking idiot. No really, how many hits does this man have on him, I bet there are enough shot on sight with him.

But this just feeds into my theory about Batman and Lex Luther. They are not smart, at all, being that one is a mental stunted child, and the other is a clear homosexual suffering from repression and his need to have sex with Superman is his driving force for life. In other words, Bat and Lex aren’t geniuses. Everyone else in the universe is just retarded; so the two of them are just battling to be crowned king of the retards.

This BITCH!

The other thing this writing team did that made me want to hit my head against the wall is they brought Natayla with them. And this is where I need to point out something that DC seems to not understand. Just telling us that the character likes this person, is not good writing; it’s show not tell. You can tell me all day long you have the greatest girlfriend in the world, but  until I met her, I’m not going to judge her by what you told me. I am gonna judge her by how she acts. And Natalya is a cunt. That is what they have shown that. I can’t wait till the nagging bitch wonders out of the comic either by leaving him, turning out to be a Villain, or getting killed. Jania Huson, you know, the white rabbit? She was fucking cool. I, as a girl, found her fucking hot, and wanted to see her date Bats. Which I know I bitch that I wish he was smarter in dating villains, but really, SHE WAS HOT AND I WANTED TO SEE HER NAKED! She was also a complex character, and they threw her out. Which I think is just a sign DC can’t have complex women.

You were put on a bus it seems? COME BACK TO ME! OR KILL NATALYA!

….well, there was no way to say that sentence without me coming off Bi. Well, fuck you, I can enjoy a nice set of tits as well as the next girl.

But back to this relationship thing, it really feels like DC has no fucking idea how to write them anymore. They just write relationships like they have been living in their mom’s basements and using a porn base for how women act. Which is never a good idea.

Oh, and Damian showed up in this issues, which made me happy. I know peeps aren’t a huge fan of the kid, but damnit I like him.

This wasn’t a bad comic. It was what DC has been putting out, a comic. Nothing Stellar, but a comic none the less. What I complained about is the worst of it.

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5 Comments

  1. I totally agree on the whole leaving Batman to live because “it’s not his time” is a pretty awful decision. Whenever it happens, you can’t help but mentally facepalm at the villain. Overall it still didn’t sound like much of a solid Batman comic. I guess it wasn’t one of the worst, but definitely not one of the best.

    • Honestly it wasn’t a bad one at all. I just hate Natayla because I don’t see why Bruce keeps her around. She nags the shit out of him and the only thing I can figure is she gives the best blow jobs known to man. They are forcing her on us for some reason. And then the scene with the hitman was a wall banging moment….and you can tell it is building to something good, between Wanye and Cobblepot. It just took a detour into stupid.

      • Yeah, but the comic didn’t seem to have too much action in this one. Of course, Batman is more about the plot and dialogue than battles, but it’s good to see a mix of both. It was still a good comic. We’ll see how the next one goes

      • I think it would have been better if they had keep the reader in the dark for a little longer with Ivy and her relationship with both the pengiun and Clayface. This is just another one of those, blowing the load early, which DC just seems to like doing as of late.

  2. […] want to add to my rant from last week, about shoting Batman which can be found, here. My Friend pointed out that shotting Batman is bad idea because it will cause a power vacum in […]


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