Batman Arkham City End Game- Or stab me in the face please, I will have more fun

I finally found a Batman Comic that makes me wants to beat my head against the wall. I will admit I haven’t finished Arkham City because I’m trying to finish all the side bullshit first, but I know how the game ends. And really, this is just some weird addition no one asked for. And it suck dick. And yes, that is my professional opinion.
The turning point where it went from kind of bad to just completely stupid is when Batman gets kicked in the balls by a mannequin with a TV Joker head. I will point out I loved those from the games, but really, it was just a token what the fuck. Batman, you would think, had learned not to get that close to anything attached to the Joker, after the last time when he was FUCKING STABBED WITH A NEEDLE FULL OF THE MAN’S BLOOD!
This one of those things that I really, really hate when people like to write Batman is this: that he is functional retarded when the plot needs him to be. That, is short, bullshit for this reason, DC has built this man up to be super intelligent, to the point that he can understand that maybe getting near something that was built by a man, WHO LAST TIME YOU RAN INTO HIM STABBED YOU WITH A NEEDLE FULL OF POISIN BLOOD, may not be a good idea. Unless Batman is drunk at this point in time, it makes no sense.
You know what is sad? I started reading it again, not because I wanted to, but because I messed up the cross stitch I was working on so bad I had to rip out all the stitches. That, folks, is not a point in its favor. That I had to stop the thing I was enjoying to spend more time on this piece of trash.
Why this comic just doesn’t work, is a simple reason. It’s too slow. And they were able to take a character, as fun, and as bad ass as the Joker and make him fucking boarding. There is a point where the Joker has talked about his plan to hide money in Gotham to cause chaos because people are trying to find it; and I was being for a root canal. I mean, really, the Joker, who could be hilariously terrifying, is just boarding. This is a character, who I feel, if he broke into your house he would either, A)Shot your grandmother, B)Eat your cat in front of you then leave, or C)Both, because it made sense to him at the time. And these people made him boarding. Holy Shit, I didn’t think that was possible. It would be one thing if you were trying to do that, but really, there is no reason for it. That and there is a subplot with Harelyquinn that goes nowhere. You could have cut it all the stuff with her and it would have made the same amount of sense.
I could also live my life happily without ever seeing Batman spray a naked Joker down with a fire hose. I don’t think a night of hard core drinking with get that out of my head.
And then there is this part where the Joker from beyond the grave tries to blow up Batman, and honestly, it doesn’t make any sense. I mean, there is no reason given why Batman is able to escape the explosion, he is just alive. Do you want to know what tricks he used to get out of it? SO THE FUCK WOULD I! Saying its because he is batman is not a good enough reason for me, you have to give me some way that he was able to get out of there. I got on JLI for this, having Batman just bugger off in a storyline is dropping the ball a little bit, but I get why they pulled him out of there. This is a batman comic were no one is worth paying attention too.
And this comic was 6.99. I’m mad I spent that much. It’s nowhere near what Arkham Unhinged is, where there are tight storylines and people trying to tell interesting tales. This was just, here is some bullshit that happened. Whatever. I know they already have my money, but every time DC does this, it makes me want to rip more things off my pull list. It is already turning into a Marvel list, and at the rate they are going I’m going to start dropping the things I do like, in fear that more comics will turn to shit. And I’m sure for a fact I’m not the only fan pulling this shit.
The art isn’t good. So it doesn’t even have that working out in its favor. The only thing that it does have is a panel that really just sums up the whole experience with it in two panels. You just have to remember that we are batman, and the comic is the Joker.

This is how we start the new year off, with a kick in the fucking balls. Great.

This is how we start the new year off, with a kick in the fucking balls. Great.

This isn’t the first Batman Comic I have read that was bad. Gotham Nights was pretty terrible, but it was still entraining, and I have the amount the fun that I thought I would. And I only spent 4 bucks on those and turned them into two posting. This I could barely get through because it was pretty much unreadable. Gotham Nights I would at least suggest, because of the fun that it was, and so the nineties you could smell if off it.

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1 Comment

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