Sorry, but this is the truth.

This is going to be the most painful post I have ever written I think.

I’m sorry, but I need to take a break. I don’t know how long it is going to be, or if I’m going to come back. That has a lot of factors on things I can’t control.

The truth is, three or four years ago, I fell in love with a Character. I haven’t realized it. That was Wonder Woman, Diana, Diana Prince, whatever you want to call her. She was a Hero, in her own right, she kicked ass, but she was still able to be kind and loving.

When the New 52 happened, I was excited. I was glad that for once, I was going not have to just pick up trades, and get in on the start of something big. I didn’t have to worry about back issues and anything like that.

Then the announcement happened. One I had been afraid of from the start, after I read the rumor online. Superman and Wonder Woman were going to be a couple, and I knew what that meant. That Diana was not going to matter any more. That the trinity no longer mattered. It was all about making Superman look good. It wasn’t about anything else.

Diana was going to stop being a hero. She was going to become a side kick, and that has been proven on every turn. Superman has to teach her everything, even though she has been living in She has become something nasty, snapping at Lois for looking at her man. Why does she care so much? They had been around each other for five years. Is this all Diana cares about? Men? She got to take center stage in the Justice League comic, because she is dating Superman, not because of anything she did. She didn’t do it because she was a hero in her own right; its about whose dick she is after at the moment. Their relationship is all about Clark, and making him look cool and hip. Diana is just something to slip into its place; being that they have been stealing art and scenes from Lois and Clark’s relationship only drive this point home. She doesn’t matter. Clark is the only thing that does. The fact that Diana and Lois were drawn alike by Lee doesn’t help. Diana had to be rewritten to fill that. I told myself that is could be short lived, and if I could get through it, it would be no big deal. After all, it was only in Justice League.

Yesterday, I found out it was in Superman. I found out it was in Aquaman. And I felt my heart-break. It became real, and that it was going to stay. I couldn’t make jokes about it and ignore that nagging facts in the back of my mind. The Diana who had swooped in and saved me in my darkest hour, and no matter what, she was never coming back. DC had murdered her and replaced her with a puppet.

Diana is close to me for a lot of reason. I have mentioned before, the character saved my life. I have PTSD because of some very horrible things that happened in my childhood. She had so many things happen to her and she was just able to go with it. These were the things I wanted for my own life. I began to change. I became stronger. I decide that there was something good in the world. Why? Because Wonder Woman was in it. It is rare that a female character happens like that, which I think Men don’t realize. She was someone, that girls who had been through hell like me, could look up to. Who had been abused, and mistreated almost their whole lives that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. That things get better. You don’t need a man to make you happy, you can create your own happiness. That Love is a great thing, but you can survive without it. That being a strong woman doesn’t mean you have to give up your femininity. And that you are not just a walking vagina. You are something so much bigger than that. Now I know that isn’t the case.

So much of my own streght was tied into her, and now that she has bee ripped away, I don’t feel it any more. I made jokes about people getting attached to characters before and how silly it was; I didn’t realized I was one of them.

Now Johns is writing her as a child. She couldn’t figure out how to have a secret identify without him. ((Even though she had done it in her own comic.)) In the old cannon, it had been a gift from Superman and Batman, as a way to give her a chance to find herself. Now it is just a way for her to live with Clark and fill Lois’s role. She is just an idiotic girl who flies off the handle. She is not, let me replete, anything that she was. No charm, no witty, not even that loving soul that I had fallen in love with. She is a shell, some strange creature wearing Diana’s skin. It was odd, and uncomfortable.

Look, what happened to me, as a child, I know has no way attached to what DC has done. They have no idea that I exist, and that I loved Diana. But they could have shown Diana some respect. They could have shown us readers some respect. Instead they did whatever they wanted. DC made me feel like I should have been born a boy. They make me ashamed to ever have made the mistake to be born the gender I was. For everything that has happened in my life, this is the first time I have ever felt this way.

My whole life, I have been plagued by my childhood. I have wondered the basic facts about myself. Things of what point did I really lose my virginity, or if I had ever been one really, what had I done to diverse the torture that I had received. Why had God painted a target on my back? Diana, finding her at 20, helped a lot of that. She taught me it doesn’t matter, that you need to push forward, that you have to find your own path and just go for it. And the part that hurts the most, is that there aren’t going to be other girls, who really need this Diana, be able to find that right now. And I honestly don’t have hope it will get better. DC doesn’t care about created strong characters of either gender, it is able making a good buck.

I didn’t realize how much I feel in love with her. How attached I became to her. How painful it is that she has been cut down, repackaged to be nothing more than just a way to make Clark to look good. They are not partners, he is the one in the driver seat. She is the pretty arm candy. The fact they couldn’t in the comics give a reason for them to be together, they had to use match.com.

My friend and fiance tell me it won’t last, that it will disappear. The truth is, even if it does, I’m never going to be able to look at Diana again. The fact is, I have enough problems trusting real people. I barely trust the people I call family, let alone anyone outside of that. I trust characters more than anything else. Diana betrayed me.

Which brings me to why I’m stepping away from my blog. I need time. I used to love doing this. I used to love reading your comments and responding to them. I know I was always crass, and hoped I brought some smiles to people faces. I wanted to be enjoyable, and I hoped I pulled that off.

Now I want it over quickly, because I can’t stand it. And it was nothing any of you all did. It was the comics themselves that drove me away. I can’t stand the joke blog that started this. I know I made jokes about Diana and Bruce dating, because I thought that couple would have been funny. It would have been amusing, because of their nothing fights. How they would have played off each other. But now that Diana is spoken for, and that this is long term, I can’t smile at that any more.  I can’t enjoy it any more. I can’t enjoy her any more. She has no meaning to a female any more.

I was excited, before the announce meant came out, for issue #13 of Justice League. I was excited to see Diana get her moment in the sun. To get the chance to be seen the way I, and many fans saw her. But it wasn’t her moment in the sun, it was her time to be shoehorned in a relationship. Because that is all she was good for. She is the replacement for Lois Lane, and so now she has to act more like Lois than herself. Don’t get me wrong, Lois is great, but she is Lois, and Diana is Diana. Or at least she was.

I realize that this all, is silly and stupid. That this is such a first world problem and I have nothing to complain about, but it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that what made Diana special and wonderful is gone, because that means that girls like me, girls who need to be saved the most, wouldn’t have access to her. That Diana is dead. Wonder Woman is dead.

I know that its so fucking stupid. That a character, a person who doesn’t exist, can hurt me so bad. But it does. I spent a lot of time crying and knowing that I couldn’t come up with funny panel friday. I could barely open the books that I have. My backlog just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And I dread looking through it.

The trips to the comic shop, writing this blog, before the announcement were things I enjoyed. That I loved doing. DC robbed me of that. They robbed me of a lot of joy.  Worst of all, they rob me of you, the people who followed, who commented, who lurk. And I know it is stupid mentally, but emotionally, I can’t cut it away. And I know that it doesn’t matter. They just want my money, and don’t give two shits about my feelings. As long as I keep picking up issues.

I hate my brain. I hate what my PTSD decides for me what is important. That makes me judge my worth as a person by. And I’m sure that this is the post where I will be told to just kill myself and get over it by trolls. That they aren’t real, and that it doesn’t matter in the long run. And in a way, they are right.

So, for now, this is good bye. I don’t know if it is for good or not. I’m going to miss you all and I thank you for giving me the time of day to read my words, and letting me entain you. It has been a blast. I just wish it could have lasted longer.

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22 Comments

  1. Aww geez. 😦

    Sorry to hear about your decision. If it helps, you’re a much stronger person than me. I quit reading DC Comics six months ago. x_x

    Stay in touch, okay? We can remember the good old days together. Take care of yourself in the meantime. *hugs* 🙂

  2. I’m sorry that you feel that way. For the short time I’ve been following you I’ve always wanted to argue that Diana is still alive and respected in her solo title and ask what about it has turned you so against it. You’re welcome to answer now but I sense you’ve heard most of it before and if you’re tired of it, I don’t mind at all if you would rather not talk about it anymore.

    What I will say is this. Diana, in my opinion, struggles with society’s expectations of women. DC hasn’t had a strong idea of what to do with her for years and as a result she’s been a feminist icon in a much larger way than she’s been a character. Superman has a bit of this problem too, but not half as bad. I think that’s why Batman is the most successful of them. But for all the trouble it causes her to HAVE to be strong and to HAVE to be perfect, Diana is beloved because of who she is, because of and in spite of these restrictions. She’s still there for you. She still exists as you know her and she will return to her deserved glory one day.

    I hope you can find a way to hold onto your love for her character and this hobby in spite of Geoff Johns’ poor treatment of her.

    Finally, even though I’m just some guy on the internet, I want to say that I’m sorry about whatever happened to you. I think it’s beautiful that Diana was able to make you feel strong. I think that’s a big part of why comics are important. Just remember that Wonder Woman didn’t give you any strength you didn’t already have. I hope you’ll find your way through this and come back to find a landscape full of heroes and heroines that help you feel strong.

    • To be honest, I don’t like the new Wonder Woman title for two reasons. One is issue #7. They removed the nature of the amazons, who in the pass had been raped victims and were able to raise above it, as the rapist. They sold their children off for guns because of their gender. They used to preach peace, anbut still willing to fight for it. Now the oringal story need to have more men in it. They had to remove the Wonder Woman part.They lost their oringal meaning that their creater gave them. The other side of it is the fact that the comic isn’t about her. It is about the gods, and I truly feel that every other issue could have her replaced with another great greek hero. I’m not saying it is bad story, just that is a bad Wonder Woman story. You want to know more about her, and the true nature of her character, Look at anything by Greg Ruka. Gail Simone. They understood and loved her.The problem is that she is no longer the spirt of truth, she is just a form of batman. Superman has fallen in the same boat.

      I don’t want to blame Johns. I don’t believe this is something he wanted to right. This is what Dido and Lee wanted him to write.

      • Since there is no edit function, let me fix this sentence:
        They removed the nature of the amazons, who in the pass had been raped victims and were able to raise above it, to become the rapist.

      • I understand that. I personally have always felt uncomfortable with the whitewashing of amazon history in Wonder Woman but the Perez origin was a powerful statement. Especially given your childhood, I entirely understand why this troubles you.

        As for the generic-nature of her character, I do agree to some extant. However I think that you can make a solid argument that Batman could be replaced with any number of masked mystery men. While there are certainly elements of many mystery men that wouldn’t suit batman, I think you could probably write a batman story and change the names to no great detriment. I’ve enjoyed the greater influence of the Olympians and I feel that though Diana doesn’t need to be Diana for the story to work, it is a Wonder Woman story.

        If You haven’t and you feel up to it I’d reccomend checking out Wonder Woman 14. I’m not as connected to Diana as you, it seems to finally prove that Azzarello does get who Diana is and what makes her special. It could let you down and I’m not trying to convince you to stay, but it might give you some hope while you’re away.

      • I have still been picking up Wonder Woman, but the fact is that he has just been removing the whole, Woman thing. Dc wanted to market Wonder Woman to men, ignoring the reason she was created.
        Which was to be a Superhero to young girls because they didn’t have one. That is what Marston wanted. He wanted a group of strong women ((Because, well, he liked to be domatied by them, but that is not the point.))
        It was nice to see her slowly becoming herself again, but honeslty, it’s too late. I know Wonder Woman is never going to be a high selling comic, but Azzarello took to long to figure out what made Diana tick. What made people love her. Those where the things that DC wanted to cut from her, so she could slip into Lois’s role, with no problem. She is this small flower that Clark has to protect. That is DC’s view on gender politicals, and what is even more painful is being told by male readers that this isn’t what is happening, and that it’s all fine. That Diana is an eqaul partner. I’m calling bullshit on that. I was told that the Superman relationship was the best thing to ever happen to Wonder Woman.
        Hell, She didn’t even get to keep her legacy villian, he became her trainer. Ares was the big bad of the series from pretty much the start. Now he is a friendly? It’s like Azzarello wants to take a shit on the old fans. Which seems to be all DC wants to do.
        The first arc we don’t get to see Diana kick ass, we just get to see her be sidelined in her own comic. That wouldn’t happen if she was Batman, or Superman.
        DC doesn’t give two shits about women, and they have made that very clear. And this type of media is the kind that pours into rape culture like there is no tomorrow. Don’t believe me?
        Lets look at Superman and Batman’s origins. Which haven’t changed, aside from Clark’s parents being dead. Everything else is the same. Clark gets to keep his legacy characters. Steven Trevor and Etta Candy are pretty much put on a bus. What does Diana get? No one. She gets no one that has been around from the start. Aside, from Hermes, who ends up betryaing her.
        But that’s okay, at least she is okay, because she has a man.

  3. I agree that this is terrible writing an character direction. I am still fuming over Spidey and MJ and Ollie and Dinah. I also hate the institutionalized sexism in the gaming and comic book industries and how they (fail to) handle female characters and target audiences. However, Diana did not betray you. Diana is a legend, a mythic figure, her mythos has many layers and has changed many times. It is not defined by any one poorly written moment. It will change and be changed again by new writers and new readers. That’s what heroes do. They become what we need them to be. Just because someone idiot mangled her does not make her any less inspiring or her mythos any less deep. She did not betray one. A writer did.

    • You are right, completely. It is just one of those, my head knows that. My heart doesn’t. Does that make sense?

  4. I hope you’ll be writing on your blog again. And, most of all, I wish you all the best for your future.

    • I hope so too. I think I will, but it might be a while. I sure some of my wounds will heal, and things will get better. It might be a little longer too, just because I have school and it’s my last semster. Then I look at Grad School. I plan on coming back at some point, the question is more when, than if.

  5. I understand what you’re feeling. I feel the same way about Spider-Man. I hope that whatever you decide to do, you’re ok. I love reading your blog, but I hope the best for you even more.

    • Thank you. I think I might throw a post in the next week or so, just because of how fun the Batman and Robin Annual was.

      Also, I just started picking up Spider-man, and there I feel that Marvel is going to try and do right by the fans. I hope DC ends up taking their lead on that.

      Another factor in all this was school. I am in my last year, and double majoring with English and a science, so there is little time to read comics as well. Taking a break, right now, saddly, is the best time for me.

      And after seeing the Apirl Previews for DC, I’m gonna try and not get my hopes up.

      • Well, here we are a month after your last comment response, and you still haven’t come back. Us Batman types are currently sad about the whole Damian situation. It would seem that DC is attempting to tick off most everyone, and ruin the institutions that got them started in the first place….

      • https://stuporheroes.wordpress.com/2013/03/07/hey-matches-this-one-is-for-you/

        ^I wrotes it for you.

        I think DC just doesn’t want money at this point. I mean, almost all of their outside ads are gone. Which to me isn’t a good sign because ads is were they make their money. I think we are gearing up for a reset.

        I mean, they think it is the 90’s again, and honestly, it isn’t.

        I want to come back, and blog again, but it is an issue of time vs school work. I’m a creative writing/Anthropology major and this semster I’m going pretty much everyday. I know it is an excuse, but is all I got right now.

  6. I’ve pretty much abandoned the DCnU. I was trying to keep up with a few titles. But I’m now exploring Marvel instead. Maybe I’ll just read Batgirl and Birds of Prey. I don’t know. A many great characters have been changed, not to make them better, but just for the sake of “new”. And what’s new is often a pale shadow of what was. This happens a lot. People come along who think they’re much more clever and creative than they really are, and they tinker with other people’s work thinking they’re going to improve it. And they don’t.

    Just remember: There’s a multiverse. Somewhere the DC universe we all know and love is out there, with all of our favorite heroes. Including Wonder Woman. The real Wonder Woman. Wise. Strong. Intuitive. Compassionate.

    • May I suggest a few marvel then? Captain Marvel is the shit, Deadpool is always amazing, and I picked up Nova on a whim and that kid is a riot.

      I can’t wait till we get back to a better universe. Til the new 52 fucks right the fuck off. Or if the power couple of bullshit breaks up, and pretend that shit never happened, it would be fine. But they can’t go on like this, or the company is gonna run off every fan they have.

  7. I started with the Jessica Jones series Alias and The Pulse. Then I started to read New Avengers, and started Captain America at the point where he’s assassinated and replaced by the Winter Solider. The whole Civil War storyline was really interesting, although I was shocked by how many heroes seemed to be just fine and dandy with being forced in to virtual slavery to the state. That was bizarre. I will definitely give your suggestions a look. I’d like to get in to X-Men and Fantastic Four, but it’s hard to know where to jump in. I’m not a fan of old style comic art.

    Have you read any of the Elseworlds stories? I’ve read one where Wonder Woman and Superman get together. And it was actually done well! Diana is Diana, and they’re equals.

    I’d like to say I think they’ll abandon this New 52 train wreck. But from what I’ve read, people seem to be buying.

    • If you are talking Kingdom Come, yea I own that one. It isnt bad, but had the feel of friends agreeing to get married when they are 40 and haven’t gotten with anyone. But I have also read one where Diana was a stripier, and Clark watchers her. And that elseworld was more respectfully to Diana than the new 52 is. She was a striper. This where I point out Aquaman is outselling Superman? That yes, they are selling more issues than two years ago, but they only control a quarter of the market? While marvel controls a nice round 50%? That they are still losing readers evey month? They can’t hold on to writers, they have pissed off all their fans and at least month to month lose about 3% o readers across the board. Hell, since the announcement of the relationship, they have lost ten percent of their control in the market. That means ten percent of their bottom line in little over six months. That is a horrorable business plan.

  8. You’re obviously way more plugged in to the business side of DC than I am. If that’s the business situation, perhaps it will motivate DC to pull a “Dallas” and make the New 52 someone’s bad dream. Of course, Booster Gold could always find a way to repair the timeline, too. We can only hope. I’d like to go back to reading DC.

    • They list the sales figures online. And untreated PTSD does some weird shit to ya.

      I like the idea they flash over to the old Canon and it starts with Batman asking if everyone taste purple.


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