Ode to JLI- Or a rant on how JLI was probably better than Justice League

This kind of thing would never happen in Justice League, it just won’t. Because the level of shit those characters give, is in-fuckin-visiable.

I really, really miss JLI. I know it hasn’t been canceled long, but damn it, I already miss it. It is a hole in my life now. We got the annual, and now, I feel empty.

I saw that a lot of people were complaining that JLI wasn’t funny like it was supposed to be. But Honestly, I gave more shits about the characters in it than I did than those asshats in Justice League. And that has been my number one complaint about JL.  That no one has a personality.Go back and check, I will wait. JLI was good because it bothered to give the characters characterizations. Justice League, aside from Batman, they really have no personalities. Hal says funny things when the mode strikes him, Diana is just someone who stands around. Clark is trying to be Batman so hard it hurts; Arthur is just there like Barry. If you look at JLI, There was something going on there. Godvia was attracted to Booster, trying to understand what she really wanted to be on the team; because she was so far out of her element, and not afraid to admit. She had/has more personality than the whole fucking Justice League. THAT IS A GOODDAMN PROBLEM GUYS.( (I have dropped Justice League. You don’t even bother to have Superman and Wonder Woman have more than two words together, and now they are a couple? No, No, No, I will not read that shitty writing. It was forced and you know it. And I know it is going to be short lived and now we are going to be in that weird stupid position that Wonder Woman is going to be waiting for whomever Superman ends up with to die so she can have him. Heaven Forbid that a Man and Woman just be fucking friends. And I liked their brother and sister relationship because it was fun. And natural.)) I knew where Booster Gold and Guy stood with each other. I, for the life of me, can’t tell you how Superman and Batman feel about each other. They hang outside of the league, sure, but I really can’t tell you if they like each other. It doesn’t feel like they are going out and grabbing coffee and shooting the shit like friends would. Just I need help to punch someone and then get the fuck out of my life.

Godvia, the woman with more personality than the whole Justice League combined.

JLI, yea, they were stuck with each other, but damn it they tried to care about each other. They tried to make bonds with each other. Guy and Booster were upset when half the crew ended up in the hospital and Red Rocket end up dead. I just don’t feel that if something like that happened in Justice League, no one would really give three shits about it. No Joke. I don’t feel like any of those characters have bothered to foster any kind of relationship within the five fucking years they have been working together.  They met up, punch shit, walk away. Batman acts like a douche canoe, but that is his default setting so we can just ignore him; everyone else, really doesn’t have an excuse. They didn’t keep the spirits of a lot of these characters, like Diana and Clark, and so they are all just douches who are hanging out. If you could call it that. They all seem to dislike one another, so it makes you wonder why they are bothering in the first place.

But what is most upseting, is that Justice League could be good. If they had spent some time doing characterization and not treating characters like props, things that have done could have worked. If they had laid ground work for Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship, it could be a good read. But I don’t feel like they did. It is just, we should be together because we dress alike and hit things real hard. Because that is what they have boiled everything down to. And that is shitty writing.

And I can’t for the life of me, understand why it is selling. Unless people are hoping it will get better. The writting will get better when we force their hand, when we make them work to get our money again, people.

I think the thing about this that bothers me the most is that I feel the wrong comic got cancelled. A well written comic got trashed and one that doesn’t even bother defining characters is selling well. It is a little heartbreaking to me.

Which makes me want to say, Buy Batwoman, she is fucking awesome and well done. Hell, I think it is better than Wonder Woman. I would hate to see that one cancelled.

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JLI and Superman and Wonder Woman

There it comes.

Okay, I promise this is the last time I talk about Supes and Wondy being in the worlds stupidest fucking relationship.

First off, I did read Justice League #12. I guess Diana loves you Steve, until you open your mouth and share your opinions on stuff. Then that means she needs to act like a bitch and go make out with Superman. That whole scene was just, we need to shit on a relationship that you ever saw to make sure you don’t like it. So we can make Superman and Wonder Woman work.  So I guess the new goal is to make them unlikeable. And it is working. Superman and Wonder Woman are becoming more unlikeable by the minute.

Second all, Clark was acting all depressed because Lois won’t pick Clark Kent first, mind you he hasn’t put himself out there, but she should be able to read his mind right? So the first time he tells Diana about Clark Kent they make out. I want to point out one thing. Diana doesn’t know Kent at all. So she picked Superman too. So that won’t be a problem because they are perfect together? Really? Really? This is the first conversation they have ever had that lasted longer than a fucking panel. And it ends with them making out and in a relationship. Look, a make out doesn’t mean shit.

Third off, the conversation that puts them together…just sucks. There is no chemistry, the timing is all weird and I swear I was expecting them to start sharing a razor because of how depressed they both sound. I felt like it was going to end with them cutting like two teenage girls. Not making out.

But we haven’t even gotten to the two main problems I have with this.

Fourth off, What happened to the confident fun, witty Wonder Woman we once had? Why doesn’t she do what she always does when problems come her way? She stands up and gets ready for a fight. She is an amazon, why is she running to a man for her fucking problems? She is lonely, I guess but she doesn’t seem like that in her stand alone. It’s hard for me as a fan of her to understand what happened to that. I don’t understand why she would even need a man for comfort. She is fucking Wonder Woman. She used to kick ass and take names. She was a character that I looked up to. Someone who if she was a real person, she would have qualities that all women should have. I found her in a low point in my life, during Gail Simone’s run. Part of me wants to say that run of comics keep me going. I saw worth in that character and her willingness to keep going. It help me find that in myself and keep going. Now I feel stupid that I ever liked her in the first place. DC thinks she is just something for Superman to plow, and I should too I guess. It seems like a waste of a good character. She was able to take on any problem and now she needs to run to someone’s arms first. This doesn’t feel like a moment of weakness, this feels like her new behavior. What happened to the woman who was willing to fight to win even if it meant her own death? I guess those days are over.  She is a woman in the DC Universe, and they are only sex objects now. Which needs to change. AND being that men mostly buy comics, it is up to them to decide if they want strong women or not.

Have to get rid of all the good ones. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE RELATIONSHIP!

Fifth, this stupid fucking relationship has to erase the good ones. Yes, I made jokes that Booster Gold and Godvia were going to go at it like rabbits, but there was honest to god chemistry there. It was a fun relationship that we saw coming but knew it was going to be fun. It wasn’t announced that it was coming; it was stuck in with subtext and subtly. They had to announce this relationship because no reader saw it coming. Now Booster Gold doesn’t exist anymore because Superman and Wonder Woman made out. Hell, the whole universe was rebooted so they could make this happen, so we lost Lois and Clark as well. Who is next? Guy and Tora? Hal and Carol? Oh, well Hal is dead again, so shit, I guess they got that one too. The fact is it shouldn’t be that way.

Sixth, I have a feeling, if this had been written well, it could have worked. But it wasn’t. The whole series has been just, kinda bad. I have read fan fictions that were better. How do we expect them to get better if we keep buying it? This is the first comic series that I have dropped. Issue 12 was a disappointment, and not just because of the relationship. The whole series was just like, I have no clue what the relationships between these characters. Do they like each other? Do they hate each other? NO FUCKING IDEA! Well, I guess now it is safe to say Superman is plowing Wonder Woman, because she doesn’t have that champion of Anthea things anymore. Their need to push this new relationship on us is just annoying, and trying to cut out the 74 years of Clark and Lois is just upsetting. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like her, Lois was a large part of the Superman Mythos, and you can’t just put your head in the sand and ignore it. She needs to at least be respected and DC just keeps acting like they change reality because it suits them.

Bonus Blog-I am still on this bullshit.

I went through and found all the converastion between these two characters have had, plus another thing I think it is important. But lets look at this. I think this is the new 52’s countdown. Really.

First Converastion

Second Converastion-5 issuses later

I counted this one, even though she isn’t talking.

Fourth, and this one goes longer than two panels, but really, one of them is her kicking him in the face on a splash page.

Fiffth…though everyone is talking…

HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING  TO PUT THEM IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP AND IT NOT SEEMED FORCED? REALLY DC? They have only had five converastions, I know, because I FUCKING COUNTED!  I can’t wait to see the reconn they are going to do to fix this.

I want to think this is a mandate, because I don’t see a writer who is excited about what they are writing as “the new Status Quo”. And when you look at how the issues have been going, Johns, who tends to write more towards the characters and developement, have them far across the room. I would imagine they would be more dynamic than that.

Plus how the fuck does a relationship effect everyone around them? I’m in one, and my relationship effects only me. Villians and Heroes? You are fucking kidding me right? What, Lex marries Lois? I fucking doubt it.

The Reboot promised us new shit, and they have done this story line, alot, and to death.

I will admit I prefere Wonder Woman with Batman if you have to put her with someone, but really, I want her alone. I hope to god this doesn’t show in her stand alone, because I don’t think I could handle it.

And then there is this page, I think it is Johns’ out page. For when the Fan reaction isn’t what they want it to be.

The out?

 

I don’t think I’m going to do a funny panel friday tomorrow, I’m too pissed off.

Bonus Blog- Just A Question to DC

Hey, Guys, I have an important question.

I saw that you said that Wonder Woman and Superman are now going to be banging. To which I ask this;

Are they going to get personalities in that Canon then to now? Relationships between Characters again? A Dead father and a Dead lover are really turn ons for them? That is a turn off to me.

Really, you are pulling a Frank Fucking Miller. How well did All-Star Batman and Robin really do?

Think about this for two mintues please and realize thay you have laid no fucking ground work for anyones relationship in that comic to make anything Status fucking quo. And that Fans for the most part, enjoyed Lois and Clark together.

I will rant more about this when I see the damn comic, but I have a feeling I will stop picking up JLA. Reading the treatments for the next couple comics sounds like the Wonder Woman/Superman love hour and I don’t have the stomach for that. Because this already feels like a six year old is writing. And that bothers me that they would get paid for that. And if it shows up in the stand alones, I’m not sure what I would do.

Relationships, in my comics? It’s more likely than you think.

I’m sorry, this some how turned into how to write a relationship, very vaguely.

I know on Earth 2 we got robbed of Alan’s and Sam’s relationship, which had a few stinks raised about it because they were gay, and pretty much nothing else.  Well, there is one gay relationship that DC hasn’t destroyed yet. And that is Maggie and Kate. Everything in their relationship is natural, and it has been a lot of fun seeing it build over the past couple comics.

Oh yea, this is good stuff.

But what really made this relationship work? Well, the fact that the characters are working on it. What is the first thing we see Kate do at first chance after Sune kisses her? Tell Maggie. And they have a beautiful moment talking about secrets in their lives, Kate about her mother and sister Beth, and Maggie with her daughter Jamie. I really feel like this relationship adds to the story. I care about it. I have a stake in their relationship.

And that is something that is lacking a lot of the time. I don’t know why writers decide that relationships only matter to the characters, they don’t. They matter to the readers as well. If the reader doesn’t have a stake in it, anything they try to do with that relationship to raise tension doesn’t matter to us.

If you compare them to Bruce and Natalya, the relationship that I bitched about last week, it makes that relationship seemed more tacked on than ever before. Why? We never saw that relationship grow. Hell, I don’t even know where that woman came from. And I have been reading since issues one….so what the French freaking Toast? (Yea, trying to cut down on my potty mouth, we will how long that last). Well, that is true to most of Batman’s girlfriends, I have just gotten in the habit of forgetting their names because they are pointless 90% of  the time and the other 10% are evil or Catwoman. I know Batman goes after relationships that are not going to work because he is an idiot, but really, they could at least try to makes us care about these women. Because there is a habit of putting these women in danger and I have to care about them if you wanted the desired effect DC. You know, to raise the tension. If I don’t care if they get hit with a bus, you have to work twice as hard to make me understand why Batman does.

And even with Catwoman, I don’t see how they ended up getting married in Earth 2 because their relationship in the new 52 is just hooking up. Earth 2 it must have been completely different. Which was awkward and weird, and made me wonder if I should pick up the trade or not; yes, a lot of their relationship was a cat and mouse game, but they just cut the game and went to sex? In her first two issues, I DON’T UNDERSTAND! Where was the cat and mouse, and he just showed up in her hotel and two minutes later they are going at it. Which was like….well, this is awkward. And that was a direct quote from me when I saw it.

That was part of the fun with those two, the cat and mouse game and seeing the two play off each other. When you cut that out of Batman and Catwoman, you really have nothing. Which I don’t know if it changed or not later in her series because I haven’t picked it up, so I’m just going on what I have seen, and I didn’t enjoy. And I used to loved watching those two play games.

Thinking about it, this is the problem in JLA too. Does everyone hate each other, have an almost family like bond, best buds that hold poker nights on the watchtower? FUCK IF I KNOW!

Anyways, to sum this up, Buy Batwoman, it is amazing. I have yet to find something I haven’t liked about it.

 

Bonus Blog-Justice League #11

Okay, three points real quick.

1) If Diana was still in love with Steve, why did she break it off? At least this makes it less like Steve was raping her….What? I couldn’t have been the only one who got that read from the flashback that they had of him and her, where they are holding hands. Diana’s mentality at time was like a small child, so it’s creepy to me that a grown man is sexuality attracted to that. And I felt that he tricked her into a relationship and that is why she broke it off. If that isn’t the case, how the fuck was I suppose to read that? Can someone explain that to me please? Because now I am questioning my read of that, and I wasn’t the only one I knew who felt that way too. My fiancé read it the same way. We were like, what? Why is this here? Why would the other men in the League let this happen to her? She was clearly a child. Mental. I don’t see Hal or Bruce or any of them letting that go on. They would at least make sure she understood what was going on between her and Steve the second they caught wind of it.

Edit: Okay, maybe rape isn’t the right word here…..sexaul conversion. Either way, it was fucking werid to me.

2) How the fuck is the team working if they don’t seem to like each other at all. Batman doesn’t count, but really, it doesn’t feel like any of the team members like each other at all. I don’t think you would be hanging out with each other like they appear to do if you don’t like them. I don’t hang out with people I don’t like, and really, they only need to be a team when the earth is threatened. When it isn’t, what is the point of having them in the watchtower at all. We know Bats has trust issues, so that is why he is distance. (Plus I don’t think he wants to care about anyone again, just because of all that has happened to him. The man’s heart has been through a wood chipper.) But there isn’t a good reason for anyone else to be. So what is up with that.

3) The most important to me, HOW THE FUCK DOES ANY THING HAPPENING NOW TIE INTO THE FIRST ISSUES? Those were a fucking flash back. You started the fucking story arc with a god damn flashback and it has been 11 issues, where is the fucking pay off?

Yea, this comic made me angry. I am sick of trying to find the threads in this one. Because the characters aren’t making sense. Come on Johns, you can write better than this. We all know you can, so could you at least pretend to give a fuck and write better? I know you can write, I picked up Batman Earth One and that kicked ass. So could you channel what ever you did for that and get that into Justice League please?

AND NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT SHAZAM! There. I said it. I don’t read it at all. I gave up on that one. I don’t want to have to give up on Justice League. Could you at least get them to act like they give a shit about each other. Because it doesn’t feel like they do at all. They did in the old canon. Why can’t they here?

Okay….Rant done.

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