A Bonus Blog -Backlog And Batwoman

NOTe: This was an old Blog post that said it posted but pulled a dick move and didn’t, so I am reposting it now. And because I think there are a few points that need to get out into the world.

Because my Comic was closed for a bit, and they are pretty much the only pony in town ((Not completely true, but the other places are not my boys damnit)) I have a huge backlog of comics that I have to get through. And we are talking a few, we are talking about fifty.

So because of that, I’m a bit behind. But Fear not, I have something to Bitch about!

Batwoman has been dropping the ball for me so hard core that it is driving me mad. Her and Wonder Woman may be in the same comic, but they might as well be half way across the world from one another, because I honestly could not buy they were working together. There is a little text box Diana has about how she is not as brave as Batwoman and basically a shitty human being.

Hey, Remember when Wonder Woman kicked some serious ass and was willing to do what ever it took to get the job done? Where she was a strong female character who didn’t need a man to drag her around and have someone basically control everything that she did? Yea? How she was the one out of the Trinty to do whatever it took to save the world, including killing a man even if it ment the two men she saw as her best friends and allies may never talk to her again? Yea, me too, and I want to know where the fuck did she go?

The New 52 Wonder Woman is complete shit. Her own comic isn’t about her, it’s about the new gods and everyone else in the story. SHe isn’t strong or Brave, she is just there. She is a prop. And it pains me to say that. I love Diana. Or more of I loved what was there before they decided that her only use was to get in Superman’s bed and not leave it. That her only worth is just to be Superman’s fuck toy, and that she is weak and whimpy. Fuck, she feels that way in her own comic. And they wonder why she isn’t selling. They removed all that made her Wonder Woman there. I hate how that has become the most important thing in the Universe, is what is going in Wonder Woman’s vagina. It shouldn’t be. As I have said so many fucking times before, That should not be the corner stone of your universe is two characters and their fucking relationship. It is still written like they are friends, and really, it should have ended 2 issues ago.  It has no where to go, and the characters have no contrast with each other. Contrast in a romantic relationship is what makes it interesting for the viewer, the reader, what have you. No Contrast, no Drama. DC is trying to force drama because everyone is against it. Which makes it come off forced. But That is a blog post for another day. Because I’m still pissed about it.

And she is coming that way in Batwoman. And the other problem I have with it is that Batwoman has become to fucking worder. I have issue 14, and got it before my shop was closed down for two weeks, and I just just can’t get through it. It’s like someone is trying to pull my teeth out of my head. There are though speeches, and they are fucking speeches, that these two women have that go fucking no where. And it would be much more interesting to see these two women interact. I was excited at first because I thought the real Wonder Woman was going to be in there. She isn’t.

I have been making jokes to my Fiancee that blue boot Wonder Woman isn’t Wondy. She is a puppet made by Cicere to think she is Wonder Woman, and make everyone else think that too. And Red Boot Wonder Woman is really out there somewhere, and when she breaks free, she is gonna kick the shit out of Blue Boot Wonder Woman. I would say that is what DC is leading up for, but really, that is never going to fucking happen, because that would be creative. And DC doesn’t do creative. They do gimmiky and bullshit.

Marvel does, and that new Deadpool comic is going to be the greatest thing ever.

Deadpooly Love

I was planning on doing an article about how DC is sexist, and have a lot good points such as how they treat women in their comics, along with Gail Simone’s unprofessional firing; then I realized something. What is the point of pointing out that DC is sexist, when that is like saying the sky is blue? Fish swim, bird fly, and DC are sexist mother fuckers. I’m sure it will get better when they realize women have the right to vote, and money of their own that they could buy comics with; but that seems to be far off. After all, the first comic they decide to throw at the fair sex ((Which wasn’t Wonder Woman, because she is for men now, which is why they got rid of the Amazons. Thought I don’t think that men are going to run around in Wonder Woman stuff, but what the fuck do I know. I have tits.)) had a rape scene in it for edgy shook value that just turned me off to the series.
So let me talk about Deadpool instead. We are on issues three now and can I talk about something that I think is awesome, is that most of the presidential facts they throw out into the story are pretty much right on the money. I mean Benjamin Franklin was the world biggest womanizer. They have brought that up twice and fun fact, they sent Franklin to France because he keep sticking it to everyone’s wife. I like this just because it gives more depth to the story, and I love how in the first issue had Jimmy Carter there pointing out he isn’t dead and we haven’t seen him since. So I don’t know what to think of that, but it is what it is.
I think writing were we can see the research is always better. It shows how they much they care about their craft and how far they are willing to make a joke. And it makes for better and much more clever writing. And Deadpool is the shit.
I don’t have any way to end this, so I take a small bow. So here is Teddy beating up a Bear. Just Because I can end it on that. And it is my favorite panel of all time now.

OH MY GOOD GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!

OH MY GOOD GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!

Deadpool Friday

So I think every other Friday is just going to end up being Deadpool Friday, because I have never laughed so hard at anything in my life. I don’t think you could ever had a bad Deadpool comic. Anyways, on to the panels:

Dr. Strange doesn;t forget anything.

Dr. Strange doesn’t forget anything.

Fun Fact: Ford was a foot ball player, which is how he got the bad knees to fall down a lot.

Fun Fact: Ford was a foot ball player, which is how he got the bad knees to fall down a lot.

And that is pretty much all we remeber of Ford....

And that is pretty much all we remeber of Ford….

Deadpool would like to know he is a good grandson to your grandma.

Deadpool would like to know he is a good grandson to your grandma.

And, my favorite from this issue….

This is the best thing that has ever come out of a male character's mouth.

This is the best thing that has ever come out of a male character’s mouth.

 

 

 

Deadpool Funny Panel Friday- TAKE TWO! HIDE YOUR WIFE!

OH MY GOOD GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!

 

Deadpool knows how to slove problems.

 

JFK, you hound dog

 

This Lady has balls.

 

 

 

Deadpool #1-What the hell have I been doing with my life.

I picked up the first Deadpool. I read it, sat myself down in a corner and cried. Don’t worry, it was tears of Joy.

Why you asked? Because Deadpool made me realize what a waste of a human being I was. I had been going to the comic shop for over a fucking year, and haven’t picked one up. It was amazing. I laughed, I cried tears of Joy, and then tears of Anger over what I had been missing out on.

Deadpool is balls to the wall amazing. It sets the scene well it in it’s first issues. Shit, over half of DC’s New 52 haven’t pulled that shit off. I know Deadpool is a goddamn ball of crazy, and issue one showed me that. Fuck, the first joke doesn’t even involve him.

The long and short of it is this. Some Jack off brought all the old presidents to life, and it is really up to Deadpool to stop them. Why Deadpool? Because fuck you, that’s why.

The Story isn’t any thing by Shakespeare, but really, it doesn’t need to be. I think that is part of the problem DC is having. They are trying to be to be and great but they have gotten rid of the background for almost everyone. We are told things but not shown them, so our emotional stake in them aren’t there. Plus, the only background we have are 13 issues. 14 if you count issue zeros, and ignore the annuals. And ignore the shit they say is canon even though it makes no fucking sense in with they have presented. Example being Batman Hush is cannon….But Catwoman doesn’t know that Batman is Bruce Wayne….even Thou that is the arc where he FUCKING TELLS HER! Marvel’s reboot isn’t so much as a reboot. It’s a RENUMBER, which is better. That’s what DC should have done. Now DC is in the boat that they have done too much and have become this uncontrollable mess that they can’t handle. 52 titles, that is what they are juggling, and losing writers left and right. So we are hinting in the old Canon, which is better because it is filler than the new stuff.  Which creates the issues that they are having now, were their characters aren’t even acting the same way; Such as all the Superman shit I can find he is either dating or married to Lois Lane. You know, the woman that they want him no where near. So that’s awkward. And an issue for another day.

But back to Deadpool; and really, the character is himself. It’s great. This is the first thing of Deadpool I have ever bought, but I seen him on forums and stuff, and giggled at everything I have seen. This put me in tears. Deadpool is being Deadpool; but that doesn’t mean we can’t see other characters be themselves. Captain America and Thor show up for a little bit, and they feel natural. DC, just to compare, doesn’t have that. Superman and Wonder Woman, as I have said, feel like Batman.  Not saying I don’t like Batman, because we all know about how I feel about that man, but they aren’t Batman. Wonder Woman doesn’t feel like her at all, and I keep picking it up hoping it will change for some fucked up reason. Superman, for a while, was nice to see shit bother him, but the problem is it got old. It became a question of why the fuck is he even acting like Clark Kent any more. He has no reason to pretend any more. He can go live on the watchtower and be Superman 24/7. One of the things that made Superman great, even though I am not a fan of him really, was that he had more humanity than Batman. But now he doesn’t.  And I started to miss the Blue Boy Scout. At Least then we had pieces of who he was.  But now he is a super powered Batman; as Wonder Woman is just Batman with Tits. So everyone is just a form of Batman in the DC Universe.

Damnit, I’m trying to stay on Deadpool. Really, It’s just Deadpool really highlighted a lot of issues that DC has for me now. DC lost what their characters were about. So their response was to make them Batman. Marvel said fuck it, we will renumber and keep shit the same. Then we will get new fans and keep the old ones happy. It’s a Win-Win. DC said, let’s shit on the old fans and keep all the new ones. The new ones are we need to keep happy, even though they haven’t shown any fucking loyalty to us.

Back to Deadpool, nothing is really explained yet, but for fuck sake it doesn’t really need to be. You know as much as Deadpool does, but he really just for fun. And they are trying to put him on a team. I can’t wait to see how that works out.

Wow, for talking about Marvel, I bitched about DC a lot. I think the problem inlays that Marvel is written better and I can’t joke about it.

I mean, shit, look at this panel.

Not even half of the funny shit in this thing.

 

Nothing I say is gonna top that.