A Bonus Blog -Backlog And Batwoman

NOTe: This was an old Blog post that said it posted but pulled a dick move and didn’t, so I am reposting it now. And because I think there are a few points that need to get out into the world.

Because my Comic was closed for a bit, and they are pretty much the only pony in town ((Not completely true, but the other places are not my boys damnit)) I have a huge backlog of comics that I have to get through. And we are talking a few, we are talking about fifty.

So because of that, I’m a bit behind. But Fear not, I have something to Bitch about!

Batwoman has been dropping the ball for me so hard core that it is driving me mad. Her and Wonder Woman may be in the same comic, but they might as well be half way across the world from one another, because I honestly could not buy they were working together. There is a little text box Diana has about how she is not as brave as Batwoman and basically a shitty human being.

Hey, Remember when Wonder Woman kicked some serious ass and was willing to do what ever it took to get the job done? Where she was a strong female character who didn’t need a man to drag her around and have someone basically control everything that she did? Yea? How she was the one out of the Trinty to do whatever it took to save the world, including killing a man even if it ment the two men she saw as her best friends and allies may never talk to her again? Yea, me too, and I want to know where the fuck did she go?

The New 52 Wonder Woman is complete shit. Her own comic isn’t about her, it’s about the new gods and everyone else in the story. SHe isn’t strong or Brave, she is just there. She is a prop. And it pains me to say that. I love Diana. Or more of I loved what was there before they decided that her only use was to get in Superman’s bed and not leave it. That her only worth is just to be Superman’s fuck toy, and that she is weak and whimpy. Fuck, she feels that way in her own comic. And they wonder why she isn’t selling. They removed all that made her Wonder Woman there. I hate how that has become the most important thing in the Universe, is what is going in Wonder Woman’s vagina. It shouldn’t be. As I have said so many fucking times before, That should not be the corner stone of your universe is two characters and their fucking relationship. It is still written like they are friends, and really, it should have ended 2 issues ago.  It has no where to go, and the characters have no contrast with each other. Contrast in a romantic relationship is what makes it interesting for the viewer, the reader, what have you. No Contrast, no Drama. DC is trying to force drama because everyone is against it. Which makes it come off forced. But That is a blog post for another day. Because I’m still pissed about it.

And she is coming that way in Batwoman. And the other problem I have with it is that Batwoman has become to fucking worder. I have issue 14, and got it before my shop was closed down for two weeks, and I just just can’t get through it. It’s like someone is trying to pull my teeth out of my head. There are though speeches, and they are fucking speeches, that these two women have that go fucking no where. And it would be much more interesting to see these two women interact. I was excited at first because I thought the real Wonder Woman was going to be in there. She isn’t.

I have been making jokes to my Fiancee that blue boot Wonder Woman isn’t Wondy. She is a puppet made by Cicere to think she is Wonder Woman, and make everyone else think that too. And Red Boot Wonder Woman is really out there somewhere, and when she breaks free, she is gonna kick the shit out of Blue Boot Wonder Woman. I would say that is what DC is leading up for, but really, that is never going to fucking happen, because that would be creative. And DC doesn’t do creative. They do gimmiky and bullshit.

Marvel does, and that new Deadpool comic is going to be the greatest thing ever.

My open Letter to Grant Morrison

Dear Grant Morrison,

Why, Why must you toy with my emotions? You got me to love Damian, and I mean love him to pieces, and now you are going to rip him away from me? Why are you doing this to me? I have song you praise, and yes, why it was I who made jokes about the Return of Bruce Wayne and it’s hatred of science, I still liked it. I love your stories, and you need to do canon porn to get off. (Which, with how much you have done, I’m sure is the only way you can get off.)

Why, why are you ripping Damian away from the only parent who gave two shits about him? Why are you ripping apart the only parent who really loves him to live with some bitch who tried to kill him? What is going to stop her from finishing the job?

Why do you hate me Mr. Morrison,  Why? What did I do to upset you?

Love, Skadi.

Well, I hoped you all enjoyed my little open letter to Grant Morrison there. I know most fans hate Damian, for whatever reason, but I really do love the shit out of that kid. And Batman Inc just made me want to cry. Maybe because I grew up with a broken home, and I know what it feels like to be shuffled from house to house, having to be ripped from the one parent that gave a shit about you, to a house were a woman actively toured me. (For the record, it was my mother who gave a shit about me, my dad couldn’t be bothered. In fact, he would sit there and watch his wife abuse the shit out of me. But this is about comic books, so let’s keep this shit light. After all, the blog isn’t about me.)  Which I think is a testament for a second of how great a writer Morrison is. I’m 24, and the last time I was forced to go over to my dad’s, I was 12. He was able to make me feel small and helpless again, which hasn’t happened in over a decade, IN JUST THROUGH TWO FUCKING PAGES! HAVE HIM WRITE JUSTICE LEAGUE DC, I COULD BUY THAT BULLSHIT YOU CALL A RELATIONSHIP THEN! Oh wait, he is leaving to write for fucking Image.

But as a fan, I wanted to things to be different. I need things to be different. But there would have only one other way this could have ended, and that was with Talia being killed. That wouldn’t have worked either, as it would have to have been someone on Batman’s side to do it. So I don’t know. Maybe things will be different, that this isn’t the end, even thou Bruce is saying it is.

I have a hard time seeing that the end of Batman is him being arrested. That just seems to, well, lame of an ending for a character like him.

But what is great about this series, aside from most of the bullshit coming out of DC, I don’t know how the story is gonna go, and I want to, painfully so. I want Damian and Bruce together, because that is what needs to happen. But I don’t know if it will or not.

The DC Reboot is turning me into a Marvel fan….

Sorry this is going to be a little short today, but can I say something, DC is turning to me into Marvel fan.

I have picked up a few series from them; Gambit, Hawkeye, Captain Marvel, and now Uncanny Avengers. And holy shit, I have never, in my fucking life been so jazzed off an issue one before.

I know that I haven’t talked about them really, because, too me, there is no reason to talk to about something that has a narrative issues when  it doesn’t. I have attacked shit of the set up with relationships, such as Bruce and Natalya (ick) to Clark and Diana (FUCK MY LIFE). To just shitty story telling, like what happened to Batman in JLI #11.

Which brings me to Uncanny Avengers. OMG, I love the shit out of this issue. They did what I feel DC couldn’t do in fucking 11 issues that Marvel did in one. What did Marvel do? It set up characters and their personalities, setting up the main villain and even setting up some sort of relationships between the characters, in one fucking issue. It’s good. I don’t know much about marvel, outside of the movies, and the X-Men cartoon, so I don’t know if there is a big difference between how these characters are acting now verse how they acted before it. But damn if it isn’t good. And I don’t want to give a spoiler away, but damn that was an ending that makes me can’t wait til next week.

In 11 issues, DC couldn’t do that with the Justice LEague. Don’t believe me, here is some food for though, which super hero am I describing:

It’s a man with Black hair, Blue eyes, and both his parents are dead. He is a superhero who has to keep his identity a secret to protect those around him from his enemies. And he is lonely.

Now was the Superman or Batman? You know what, I’m not sure either? Why? Because DC has just gone and decide to make all their character’s have one personality trait. So the trinity really isn’t there any more, because all three of them, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman are just that. A one trick personality of Loneliness. They are all lonely, Lonely LONELY PEOPLE! DID YOU GET THEY THAT ARE LONELY?!?! BECAUSE THEY ARE LONELY!!! Which I ask why they fuck haven’t they killed themselves. They should drink some poison together and wait for the loneliness to eat them inside.

The trinity was something that made DC special. They had a great balance. They don’t now. They are a trinity made of Batman alone, and there is no balance to that. Lois and Clark’s relationship made their universe special.  Now they don’t have either of that. So what is the point I ask? I was picking up Superman because I wanted to see Lois and Clark get together. I wanted to see Clark grow a pair and ask Lois out himself, not starting to date her as Superman. But now, they flat out said that isn’t going to happen. So I stopped picking it up. I don’t like seeing Wonder Woman, a symbol of feminism, attached to the one man she has to play second banana too, so Justice League got dropped. That and I shouldn’t have found out by a fucking announcement but by good writing to put in into the comic.  What did they get replaced with?

Marvel Titles. MARVEL FUCKING TITLES. Why? Because they are interesting. Because they don’t treat women as object for their male characters. And I can get behind that.

If all the Marvel Now Titles are going to be like this, I can’t wait for them.

Batman and Robin #0-Baby Damian is fucking adorable

I love this panel. I just want to stuff Damian full of chocolate till he can’t move.

I liked this issue. I love this issue for a lot of reasons. One of them is because I do love Damian as a character. Here is a kid, for all reason, should be a homicidal manic, but at the end of the day, wants to be good. He wants to be a hero like Bruce. I think a lot of fans who hate on him forget that fact. This child wants to do good, his mother just gave him a really shitty tool set in life to do that. And he is making the effort to overcome it. This character is so complex it is amazing to me. And people hate him for some reason. I’m amusing it is loyalty to Tim.

It is nice to see the different parenting styles that both Talia and Bruce have. Talia is clearly more insane, and in the first arc of Batman and Robin, we do see Bruce actively try to figure out how to parent his kid. Because he wants Damian to do well, and realizes that he has no idea what to do with the boy.  Talia just like keeping her distance from him, and anything she does with him that could be seen as mothering is very uncomfortable for her.

Mostly because she treats him like a small adult and any time he acts like a real small child she ignores it. Yet again we are in the position were this kid’s most loving parent is the Goddamn Batman. I believe that is screwed squared. But it is more than that. It is almost clear to the reader that Talia is in love with the idea of Damian but not really interested in the people he really is. And that is heartbreaking when you think about it. She doesn’t love her son, she loves the idea of her son. And when he isn’t something she wanted, she puts a hit on him. After all, that is what Batman Inc is going on about right now.

The other thing I enjoyed about this comic is that you see from an early age Damian has an interest on who is father is, and it boards into an obsession for him. And it is yet again, Talia who is created the distance. It makes you wonder how things would have played out if Bruce had any idea Damian existed when he was a baby what would have happened.

I love how they have been working on the father son relationship between Bruce and Damian, especially in the earlier arc of this series. The second arc they have has been more about Damian just trying to find himself in the Robin ranked; failing to realize he didn’t have to worry about his place because he is Robin. I feel like this issue was just showing were Damian’s desire on knowing where he came from as another piece of that puzzle. Issue 8 comes to mind as probably the most beautiful moment in the new 52, were Bruce tells Damian he just wants him to be himself. I can’t think of anything, anything in the new 52 that tops that moment.

I challenge anyone to find something more perfect moment in the new 52. And you can’t. So live with it. Yea, this and the three pages leading up to it, is amazing.

Ode to JLI- Or a rant on how JLI was probably better than Justice League

This kind of thing would never happen in Justice League, it just won’t. Because the level of shit those characters give, is in-fuckin-visiable.

I really, really miss JLI. I know it hasn’t been canceled long, but damn it, I already miss it. It is a hole in my life now. We got the annual, and now, I feel empty.

I saw that a lot of people were complaining that JLI wasn’t funny like it was supposed to be. But Honestly, I gave more shits about the characters in it than I did than those asshats in Justice League. And that has been my number one complaint about JL.  That no one has a personality.Go back and check, I will wait. JLI was good because it bothered to give the characters characterizations. Justice League, aside from Batman, they really have no personalities. Hal says funny things when the mode strikes him, Diana is just someone who stands around. Clark is trying to be Batman so hard it hurts; Arthur is just there like Barry. If you look at JLI, There was something going on there. Godvia was attracted to Booster, trying to understand what she really wanted to be on the team; because she was so far out of her element, and not afraid to admit. She had/has more personality than the whole fucking Justice League. THAT IS A GOODDAMN PROBLEM GUYS.( (I have dropped Justice League. You don’t even bother to have Superman and Wonder Woman have more than two words together, and now they are a couple? No, No, No, I will not read that shitty writing. It was forced and you know it. And I know it is going to be short lived and now we are going to be in that weird stupid position that Wonder Woman is going to be waiting for whomever Superman ends up with to die so she can have him. Heaven Forbid that a Man and Woman just be fucking friends. And I liked their brother and sister relationship because it was fun. And natural.)) I knew where Booster Gold and Guy stood with each other. I, for the life of me, can’t tell you how Superman and Batman feel about each other. They hang outside of the league, sure, but I really can’t tell you if they like each other. It doesn’t feel like they are going out and grabbing coffee and shooting the shit like friends would. Just I need help to punch someone and then get the fuck out of my life.

Godvia, the woman with more personality than the whole Justice League combined.

JLI, yea, they were stuck with each other, but damn it they tried to care about each other. They tried to make bonds with each other. Guy and Booster were upset when half the crew ended up in the hospital and Red Rocket end up dead. I just don’t feel that if something like that happened in Justice League, no one would really give three shits about it. No Joke. I don’t feel like any of those characters have bothered to foster any kind of relationship within the five fucking years they have been working together.  They met up, punch shit, walk away. Batman acts like a douche canoe, but that is his default setting so we can just ignore him; everyone else, really doesn’t have an excuse. They didn’t keep the spirits of a lot of these characters, like Diana and Clark, and so they are all just douches who are hanging out. If you could call it that. They all seem to dislike one another, so it makes you wonder why they are bothering in the first place.

But what is most upseting, is that Justice League could be good. If they had spent some time doing characterization and not treating characters like props, things that have done could have worked. If they had laid ground work for Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship, it could be a good read. But I don’t feel like they did. It is just, we should be together because we dress alike and hit things real hard. Because that is what they have boiled everything down to. And that is shitty writing.

And I can’t for the life of me, understand why it is selling. Unless people are hoping it will get better. The writting will get better when we force their hand, when we make them work to get our money again, people.

I think the thing about this that bothers me the most is that I feel the wrong comic got cancelled. A well written comic got trashed and one that doesn’t even bother defining characters is selling well. It is a little heartbreaking to me.

Which makes me want to say, Buy Batwoman, she is fucking awesome and well done. Hell, I think it is better than Wonder Woman. I would hate to see that one cancelled.

JLI and Superman and Wonder Woman

There it comes.

Okay, I promise this is the last time I talk about Supes and Wondy being in the worlds stupidest fucking relationship.

First off, I did read Justice League #12. I guess Diana loves you Steve, until you open your mouth and share your opinions on stuff. Then that means she needs to act like a bitch and go make out with Superman. That whole scene was just, we need to shit on a relationship that you ever saw to make sure you don’t like it. So we can make Superman and Wonder Woman work.  So I guess the new goal is to make them unlikeable. And it is working. Superman and Wonder Woman are becoming more unlikeable by the minute.

Second all, Clark was acting all depressed because Lois won’t pick Clark Kent first, mind you he hasn’t put himself out there, but she should be able to read his mind right? So the first time he tells Diana about Clark Kent they make out. I want to point out one thing. Diana doesn’t know Kent at all. So she picked Superman too. So that won’t be a problem because they are perfect together? Really? Really? This is the first conversation they have ever had that lasted longer than a fucking panel. And it ends with them making out and in a relationship. Look, a make out doesn’t mean shit.

Third off, the conversation that puts them together…just sucks. There is no chemistry, the timing is all weird and I swear I was expecting them to start sharing a razor because of how depressed they both sound. I felt like it was going to end with them cutting like two teenage girls. Not making out.

But we haven’t even gotten to the two main problems I have with this.

Fourth off, What happened to the confident fun, witty Wonder Woman we once had? Why doesn’t she do what she always does when problems come her way? She stands up and gets ready for a fight. She is an amazon, why is she running to a man for her fucking problems? She is lonely, I guess but she doesn’t seem like that in her stand alone. It’s hard for me as a fan of her to understand what happened to that. I don’t understand why she would even need a man for comfort. She is fucking Wonder Woman. She used to kick ass and take names. She was a character that I looked up to. Someone who if she was a real person, she would have qualities that all women should have. I found her in a low point in my life, during Gail Simone’s run. Part of me wants to say that run of comics keep me going. I saw worth in that character and her willingness to keep going. It help me find that in myself and keep going. Now I feel stupid that I ever liked her in the first place. DC thinks she is just something for Superman to plow, and I should too I guess. It seems like a waste of a good character. She was able to take on any problem and now she needs to run to someone’s arms first. This doesn’t feel like a moment of weakness, this feels like her new behavior. What happened to the woman who was willing to fight to win even if it meant her own death? I guess those days are over.  She is a woman in the DC Universe, and they are only sex objects now. Which needs to change. AND being that men mostly buy comics, it is up to them to decide if they want strong women or not.

Have to get rid of all the good ones. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE RELATIONSHIP!

Fifth, this stupid fucking relationship has to erase the good ones. Yes, I made jokes that Booster Gold and Godvia were going to go at it like rabbits, but there was honest to god chemistry there. It was a fun relationship that we saw coming but knew it was going to be fun. It wasn’t announced that it was coming; it was stuck in with subtext and subtly. They had to announce this relationship because no reader saw it coming. Now Booster Gold doesn’t exist anymore because Superman and Wonder Woman made out. Hell, the whole universe was rebooted so they could make this happen, so we lost Lois and Clark as well. Who is next? Guy and Tora? Hal and Carol? Oh, well Hal is dead again, so shit, I guess they got that one too. The fact is it shouldn’t be that way.

Sixth, I have a feeling, if this had been written well, it could have worked. But it wasn’t. The whole series has been just, kinda bad. I have read fan fictions that were better. How do we expect them to get better if we keep buying it? This is the first comic series that I have dropped. Issue 12 was a disappointment, and not just because of the relationship. The whole series was just like, I have no clue what the relationships between these characters. Do they like each other? Do they hate each other? NO FUCKING IDEA! Well, I guess now it is safe to say Superman is plowing Wonder Woman, because she doesn’t have that champion of Anthea things anymore. Their need to push this new relationship on us is just annoying, and trying to cut out the 74 years of Clark and Lois is just upsetting. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like her, Lois was a large part of the Superman Mythos, and you can’t just put your head in the sand and ignore it. She needs to at least be respected and DC just keeps acting like they change reality because it suits them.

Relationships, in my comics? It’s more likely than you think.

I’m sorry, this some how turned into how to write a relationship, very vaguely.

I know on Earth 2 we got robbed of Alan’s and Sam’s relationship, which had a few stinks raised about it because they were gay, and pretty much nothing else.  Well, there is one gay relationship that DC hasn’t destroyed yet. And that is Maggie and Kate. Everything in their relationship is natural, and it has been a lot of fun seeing it build over the past couple comics.

Oh yea, this is good stuff.

But what really made this relationship work? Well, the fact that the characters are working on it. What is the first thing we see Kate do at first chance after Sune kisses her? Tell Maggie. And they have a beautiful moment talking about secrets in their lives, Kate about her mother and sister Beth, and Maggie with her daughter Jamie. I really feel like this relationship adds to the story. I care about it. I have a stake in their relationship.

And that is something that is lacking a lot of the time. I don’t know why writers decide that relationships only matter to the characters, they don’t. They matter to the readers as well. If the reader doesn’t have a stake in it, anything they try to do with that relationship to raise tension doesn’t matter to us.

If you compare them to Bruce and Natalya, the relationship that I bitched about last week, it makes that relationship seemed more tacked on than ever before. Why? We never saw that relationship grow. Hell, I don’t even know where that woman came from. And I have been reading since issues one….so what the French freaking Toast? (Yea, trying to cut down on my potty mouth, we will how long that last). Well, that is true to most of Batman’s girlfriends, I have just gotten in the habit of forgetting their names because they are pointless 90% of  the time and the other 10% are evil or Catwoman. I know Batman goes after relationships that are not going to work because he is an idiot, but really, they could at least try to makes us care about these women. Because there is a habit of putting these women in danger and I have to care about them if you wanted the desired effect DC. You know, to raise the tension. If I don’t care if they get hit with a bus, you have to work twice as hard to make me understand why Batman does.

And even with Catwoman, I don’t see how they ended up getting married in Earth 2 because their relationship in the new 52 is just hooking up. Earth 2 it must have been completely different. Which was awkward and weird, and made me wonder if I should pick up the trade or not; yes, a lot of their relationship was a cat and mouse game, but they just cut the game and went to sex? In her first two issues, I DON’T UNDERSTAND! Where was the cat and mouse, and he just showed up in her hotel and two minutes later they are going at it. Which was like….well, this is awkward. And that was a direct quote from me when I saw it.

That was part of the fun with those two, the cat and mouse game and seeing the two play off each other. When you cut that out of Batman and Catwoman, you really have nothing. Which I don’t know if it changed or not later in her series because I haven’t picked it up, so I’m just going on what I have seen, and I didn’t enjoy. And I used to loved watching those two play games.

Thinking about it, this is the problem in JLA too. Does everyone hate each other, have an almost family like bond, best buds that hold poker nights on the watchtower? FUCK IF I KNOW!

Anyways, to sum this up, Buy Batwoman, it is amazing. I have yet to find something I haven’t liked about it.