Robin is too damn tall

Character Heights?

I don’t know how to start with this. I’m not sure it is a rant on art or not. And it is kinda stupid. ((And I’m using Damian becaue he is the one I noticed it with))

Let’s go with it’s an art rant. Or at least a style rant.

And it starts with this. Either Damian is different ages in the different range of comics he is in, or DC has no fucking clue how tall ten year old as.

There is something off about this. Maybe its the TEN YEAR OLD IS TOO FUCKING TALL

First of all, Bruce is a huge dude. He is over 6ft tall, and I have no problem with that. I do have problems with his TEN year old son coming up to his shoulder. I was tall at ten, but I didn’t come up to my mother’s shoulder. She isn’t a big woman. But not only that, I’M THE SEX WITH TITS! I went through my growth spurt before the boys in my class, like a lot go girls. Boys get their height later in puberty. SHIT almost all of DC is men. You would think they would remember this. And then it others it feels like he is coming up to Bruce’s waist. So either this Kid gets bored and hops on slits whenever he has the mood strike, or there is poor communication on how tall he should be.

They are standing next to each other. WTF?

The other thing that is, no matter who is drawing him, if they had a standard place where he hit on someone, it should translate over to all the comics. Least say, they do it by the height of a character based on, I unno, the number of the character’s head stacked on top of itself. (Clearly, I’m not sure how to state this, between the sick and the Dayquil. So if it makes sense, bully good for me.) If that is uniform, for all the artist styles, then the heights would be uniform. But clearly I’m batshit crazy and this can never be.

To sum my rant up, because in my head cold state, I’m not sure how clear I am: I understand different artist are going to draw him different ways. But that only explains why they will look at little different from comic to comic, not their heights. Character heights should be uniform because this shit isn’t that hard!

Sorry this isn’t really at long or that funny, I’m sick from stress and the weather changing out here.  ((It rained, in Southern California!))

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My open Letter to Grant Morrison

Dear Grant Morrison,

Why, Why must you toy with my emotions? You got me to love Damian, and I mean love him to pieces, and now you are going to rip him away from me? Why are you doing this to me? I have song you praise, and yes, why it was I who made jokes about the Return of Bruce Wayne and it’s hatred of science, I still liked it. I love your stories, and you need to do canon porn to get off. (Which, with how much you have done, I’m sure is the only way you can get off.)

Why, why are you ripping Damian away from the only parent who gave two shits about him? Why are you ripping apart the only parent who really loves him to live with some bitch who tried to kill him? What is going to stop her from finishing the job?

Why do you hate me Mr. Morrison,  Why? What did I do to upset you?

Love, Skadi.

Well, I hoped you all enjoyed my little open letter to Grant Morrison there. I know most fans hate Damian, for whatever reason, but I really do love the shit out of that kid. And Batman Inc just made me want to cry. Maybe because I grew up with a broken home, and I know what it feels like to be shuffled from house to house, having to be ripped from the one parent that gave a shit about you, to a house were a woman actively toured me. (For the record, it was my mother who gave a shit about me, my dad couldn’t be bothered. In fact, he would sit there and watch his wife abuse the shit out of me. But this is about comic books, so let’s keep this shit light. After all, the blog isn’t about me.)  Which I think is a testament for a second of how great a writer Morrison is. I’m 24, and the last time I was forced to go over to my dad’s, I was 12. He was able to make me feel small and helpless again, which hasn’t happened in over a decade, IN JUST THROUGH TWO FUCKING PAGES! HAVE HIM WRITE JUSTICE LEAGUE DC, I COULD BUY THAT BULLSHIT YOU CALL A RELATIONSHIP THEN! Oh wait, he is leaving to write for fucking Image.

But as a fan, I wanted to things to be different. I need things to be different. But there would have only one other way this could have ended, and that was with Talia being killed. That wouldn’t have worked either, as it would have to have been someone on Batman’s side to do it. So I don’t know. Maybe things will be different, that this isn’t the end, even thou Bruce is saying it is.

I have a hard time seeing that the end of Batman is him being arrested. That just seems to, well, lame of an ending for a character like him.

But what is great about this series, aside from most of the bullshit coming out of DC, I don’t know how the story is gonna go, and I want to, painfully so. I want Damian and Bruce together, because that is what needs to happen. But I don’t know if it will or not.

Can I talk about capes for two seconds?

I want to talk fashion today, and as a girl, I can and will totally do that. And I’m feeling a little silly, so this isn’t gonna be that much. So let’s get started.

Okay, a lot of superheroes wear capes. Thor, Superman, Batman and Robin to name to a few; hell, even Wonder Woman has sported one every now and then.  It’s the fashion statement of the super powerful, of the great avengers, a quick way to identify a hero some times. Capes are the one piece of clothing that the Villains don’t really touch.

But really, they are just a good way to get you killed. I want to call them Villain Helpers. I mean, it can get sucked into things, like a jet engine, your day is fucked. Unless you are Superman, because let’s face it, he would fuck up the jet engine. Which if it was in the air, he would just destroy it. (And being that he flies around at the same height as Jets, it could happen.) So now he would he have to save the people on the plane he just destroyed.

Or Batman running around on the roof tops of Gotham, there are a lot of things that he could caught on. While I think that they won’t ended the Dark Knight with him choking himself, but really, it is a possibility. I mean, there he is chasing down a criminal and the damn cape gets caught on something.

Robin doesn’t have as much of a problem, being that he has a half cape.

But still I don’t understand what the deal with capes.

Batman and Robin #0-Baby Damian is fucking adorable

I love this panel. I just want to stuff Damian full of chocolate till he can’t move.

I liked this issue. I love this issue for a lot of reasons. One of them is because I do love Damian as a character. Here is a kid, for all reason, should be a homicidal manic, but at the end of the day, wants to be good. He wants to be a hero like Bruce. I think a lot of fans who hate on him forget that fact. This child wants to do good, his mother just gave him a really shitty tool set in life to do that. And he is making the effort to overcome it. This character is so complex it is amazing to me. And people hate him for some reason. I’m amusing it is loyalty to Tim.

It is nice to see the different parenting styles that both Talia and Bruce have. Talia is clearly more insane, and in the first arc of Batman and Robin, we do see Bruce actively try to figure out how to parent his kid. Because he wants Damian to do well, and realizes that he has no idea what to do with the boy.  Talia just like keeping her distance from him, and anything she does with him that could be seen as mothering is very uncomfortable for her.

Mostly because she treats him like a small adult and any time he acts like a real small child she ignores it. Yet again we are in the position were this kid’s most loving parent is the Goddamn Batman. I believe that is screwed squared. But it is more than that. It is almost clear to the reader that Talia is in love with the idea of Damian but not really interested in the people he really is. And that is heartbreaking when you think about it. She doesn’t love her son, she loves the idea of her son. And when he isn’t something she wanted, she puts a hit on him. After all, that is what Batman Inc is going on about right now.

The other thing I enjoyed about this comic is that you see from an early age Damian has an interest on who is father is, and it boards into an obsession for him. And it is yet again, Talia who is created the distance. It makes you wonder how things would have played out if Bruce had any idea Damian existed when he was a baby what would have happened.

I love how they have been working on the father son relationship between Bruce and Damian, especially in the earlier arc of this series. The second arc they have has been more about Damian just trying to find himself in the Robin ranked; failing to realize he didn’t have to worry about his place because he is Robin. I feel like this issue was just showing were Damian’s desire on knowing where he came from as another piece of that puzzle. Issue 8 comes to mind as probably the most beautiful moment in the new 52, were Bruce tells Damian he just wants him to be himself. I can’t think of anything, anything in the new 52 that tops that moment.

I challenge anyone to find something more perfect moment in the new 52. And you can’t. So live with it. Yea, this and the three pages leading up to it, is amazing.

The Waynes, the only people on the planet who can’t have parents

To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. ~ The Importance of being Ernest.

Yes, I quoted Oscar Wilde, because I’m the shit. While talking about comics! You know you are jelly.

This one is going to be short and to the point today. I have come to one conclusion about the Wayne family of Gotham.

They cannot have fucking parents. World’s Finest #0 proved this well.

We already saw Bruce’s death in the first issue, which was freaking hard up, being that he had enough time to say, hey, I love you. Boom. Done he is gone.

Selina gets around the same treatment, but she doesn’t get a chance to tell anyone anything, being she is dead the second Helena shows up. My favorite part in this issue has to be when the cop asks if she is crazy, and Bruce’s answer is one of the best things I have ever seen.

This shouldn’t be funny to me, but why is she not crazy because she is his daugther? As much as I love Bats, he is fucking nuts.

Damian is a bit of the same way, his mother straight out abandons him for his clone, and his father, well his father is the Batman for fucks sake. He did go to live with Dick when Bruce was having his lovely adventure through time. And that fan’s don’t like the kid for the most part, which I don’t understand at all. Because I have a hard time hating on a ten year old kid. So yea, Damian seems to me have weirdest parenting problem ever! Plus his dad is 90% of the time ignoring the shit out of him. So yea, this kid is fucked.

I would like to point out one thing…..

This is about a nine boy talking to his mother, at this point, the only parent he has really known. And she is, in short, telling him to fuck off.

 

And then there is Bruce, parents murdered right in front of him.  So Shit. Wayne’s can have parents long enough for them to be convinced and spend a little time with them, before they are disposed of them in some way.

Okay, now is the time when you dress up like a bat and fight crime!

So yea, World’s Finest was fun, as always, and again, sorry this is so short, but I’m setting up my post for the fan fair that will be my 100th post! See you all then!

Batman and Robin #11-Two down, one to go.

Well the Robin War is well on its way.

And all I can do is giggle at it. I don’t know if that is bad or not.

So he took out Tim and then went after Jason. And something tells me Jason is going to take his hood back, and go back to ignoring them. I mean, he didn’t give a shit when Damian announced he was going to do this and that he is dragged into it, he is going end it. Probably tell Bruce too, just to be a dick.

And if he is so over Batman and all that, why does he have a bat symbol on his chest? I mean, really Jason, it isn’t important I believe you, it is important you believe you. It is one of those, if you are really over it Jason, why do you have a bat symbol on your chest? MMMM? Or is it just a way to piss off Bruce? Because I don’t think he cares.

It’s just Damian running around, hitting people, and taking their shit.  I can’t wait to see how Damian and Dick go at it. Part of me just has this hope that somehow, Dick kicks the shit out of him and ends up sitting on top of him. Just sitting there, like, are you done? Because I am.

Also I can’t wait to see how Bruce ends it. Because we know he is going to be the one to end it. Just something along the lines of, you did what? I mean, Bruce isn’t going to give him a pat on the back for this, which is what I think Damian thinks is going to happen. Which is sad, that this kid has no idea how to make his father proud of him, but damnit if he doesn’t try. I think is because Bruce didn’t give him a hug in the Dark Knight #10 when he talked about his rage issues.

The other is just kinda shrug to me. Not as interesting as the Robin War story. There more character development in the War to tell the truth.

Batman Dark Knight #10-Did they forget about who was his girlfriend?

Okay, that new woman he was dating, Natalya, made me want to know one thing….

You were put on a bus it seems?

What the hell happened to Jaina Hudson? We know she is the white rabbit, but I’m pretty sure that Bruce hasn’t picked that up yet.  They implied she was behind everything or at least deeply involved in the first 8 issues and she just dropped off the face of the earth. And I know one of those issues was the night of owls event, but really? They were setting her up to be his new girlfriend? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad they don’t have him dating a super villain again because that gets annoying. Because it has been done, a lot. Like, every woman he dates wants to kill him. I feel like the league should step in at some point because one of their top people self-destructs a lot. Or at least have league approved girlfriends because clearly he can’t be trusted, about to get crude, where he puts his dick or who he chooses to put it in.

A Superhero that gets turned on by evil? That is Batman in a nutshell.  I would be happen if he put the two together, I kinda like her, a new super villain shows up in Gotham, I bet they are one in the same. But something tells me that isn’t what happened.

One-Who is this bitch? Two- This is kinda creepie when you remember Damian is homeschooled and they are in the living room. She is naked under that sheet.

I think the writers forgot about her honestly. She was built up in issue 8 as being the one who got everything started up to that point, and he just loses interests in her? Really? When has Batman lost interest in someone who was so tied into the case? Scarecrow still running around and this woman is helping him? Nope, don’t need to look for them. I don’t think I can think of anyone that has happened too. And even when he gets wind that maybe, maybe these women aren’t the best for him, he still dates them. I mean, look at Jezebel Jet. He had a hint that she was working for someone to get him when she made the comment that she understood him. On their first date. And still dated her until the black Glove tried to bury him. After that, he was still trying to save her. He is a bit retarded when it comes to people with tits. The bigger, the more retard, I noticed. Clearly we know what he likes.

Dawww….That is just sweet.

That being said, the whole, him being sweet to that little girl was freaking adorable.  You always wanna think of Batman as some big scary dude fighting for the little guy. You never really see him with the little guy and yet again on this blog, I find myself calling Batman cute. What is that, 4 times? But it was nice to see, that maybe, just maybe, he isn’t always the big scary guy on the block but a feeling human being.

Oh Damian, just grow some tits. Then maybe your dad will give a shit about you.

Of course the next set of panels is him ignoring the shit out of his son, so you know, back to being an unfeeling ass. I know, I know, he has tunnel vision, and all he is seeing is the case, and everyone around him can fuck off.  But what pisses me off is he is ignoring his child, and going after some woman. I mean, think about this for a second, his son is talking about working on his rage issues, and trying to get more advice for how to do that, and Bruce flat out ignores him. He goes and see his girlfriend because of a charity event, where she is suppose to the date. That is father of the year shit right there. (She dumps his ass, realizing that he is the shitty father ever? Nope. Because she was sick of waiting around for him, and being ignored. So he pisses off his son and loses the girl.)

Not that Batman has ever been a great parent. He sure as fuck hasn’t. But he knows Damian has some serious fucking issues and like I said before, maybe he should do something about that. Or at the very least, spend some fucking time with him. I mean, the only time they did something normal was in Batman and Robin #8. And I feel like that is the only time that they have. But what is even sadder, is he is the most loving parent Damian has. That kid is fucked.