Sorry, but this is the truth.

This is going to be the most painful post I have ever written I think.

I’m sorry, but I need to take a break. I don’t know how long it is going to be, or if I’m going to come back. That has a lot of factors on things I can’t control.

The truth is, three or four years ago, I fell in love with a Character. I haven’t realized it. That was Wonder Woman, Diana, Diana Prince, whatever you want to call her. She was a Hero, in her own right, she kicked ass, but she was still able to be kind and loving.

When the New 52 happened, I was excited. I was glad that for once, I was going not have to just pick up trades, and get in on the start of something big. I didn’t have to worry about back issues and anything like that.

Then the announcement happened. One I had been afraid of from the start, after I read the rumor online. Superman and Wonder Woman were going to be a couple, and I knew what that meant. That Diana was not going to matter any more. That the trinity no longer mattered. It was all about making Superman look good. It wasn’t about anything else.

Diana was going to stop being a hero. She was going to become a side kick, and that has been proven on every turn. Superman has to teach her everything, even though she has been living in She has become something nasty, snapping at Lois for looking at her man. Why does she care so much? They had been around each other for five years. Is this all Diana cares about? Men? She got to take center stage in the Justice League comic, because she is dating Superman, not because of anything she did. She didn’t do it because she was a hero in her own right; its about whose dick she is after at the moment. Their relationship is all about Clark, and making him look cool and hip. Diana is just something to slip into its place; being that they have been stealing art and scenes from Lois and Clark’s relationship only drive this point home. She doesn’t matter. Clark is the only thing that does. The fact that Diana and Lois were drawn alike by Lee doesn’t help. Diana had to be rewritten to fill that. I told myself that is could be short lived, and if I could get through it, it would be no big deal. After all, it was only in Justice League.

Yesterday, I found out it was in Superman. I found out it was in Aquaman. And I felt my heart-break. It became real, and that it was going to stay. I couldn’t make jokes about it and ignore that nagging facts in the back of my mind. The Diana who had swooped in and saved me in my darkest hour, and no matter what, she was never coming back. DC had murdered her and replaced her with a puppet.

Diana is close to me for a lot of reason. I have mentioned before, the character saved my life. I have PTSD because of some very horrible things that happened in my childhood. She had so many things happen to her and she was just able to go with it. These were the things I wanted for my own life. I began to change. I became stronger. I decide that there was something good in the world. Why? Because Wonder Woman was in it. It is rare that a female character happens like that, which I think Men don’t realize. She was someone, that girls who had been through hell like me, could look up to. Who had been abused, and mistreated almost their whole lives that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. That things get better. You don’t need a man to make you happy, you can create your own happiness. That Love is a great thing, but you can survive without it. That being a strong woman doesn’t mean you have to give up your femininity. And that you are not just a walking vagina. You are something so much bigger than that. Now I know that isn’t the case.

So much of my own streght was tied into her, and now that she has bee ripped away, I don’t feel it any more. I made jokes about people getting attached to characters before and how silly it was; I didn’t realized I was one of them.

Now Johns is writing her as a child. She couldn’t figure out how to have a secret identify without him. ((Even though she had done it in her own comic.)) In the old cannon, it had been a gift from Superman and Batman, as a way to give her a chance to find herself. Now it is just a way for her to live with Clark and fill Lois’s role. She is just an idiotic girl who flies off the handle. She is not, let me replete, anything that she was. No charm, no witty, not even that loving soul that I had fallen in love with. She is a shell, some strange creature wearing Diana’s skin. It was odd, and uncomfortable.

Look, what happened to me, as a child, I know has no way attached to what DC has done. They have no idea that I exist, and that I loved Diana. But they could have shown Diana some respect. They could have shown us readers some respect. Instead they did whatever they wanted. DC made me feel like I should have been born a boy. They make me ashamed to ever have made the mistake to be born the gender I was. For everything that has happened in my life, this is the first time I have ever felt this way.

My whole life, I have been plagued by my childhood. I have wondered the basic facts about myself. Things of what point did I really lose my virginity, or if I had ever been one really, what had I done to diverse the torture that I had received. Why had God painted a target on my back? Diana, finding her at 20, helped a lot of that. She taught me it doesn’t matter, that you need to push forward, that you have to find your own path and just go for it. And the part that hurts the most, is that there aren’t going to be other girls, who really need this Diana, be able to find that right now. And I honestly don’t have hope it will get better. DC doesn’t care about created strong characters of either gender, it is able making a good buck.

I didn’t realize how much I feel in love with her. How attached I became to her. How painful it is that she has been cut down, repackaged to be nothing more than just a way to make Clark to look good. They are not partners, he is the one in the driver seat. She is the pretty arm candy. The fact they couldn’t in the comics give a reason for them to be together, they had to use

My friend and fiance tell me it won’t last, that it will disappear. The truth is, even if it does, I’m never going to be able to look at Diana again. The fact is, I have enough problems trusting real people. I barely trust the people I call family, let alone anyone outside of that. I trust characters more than anything else. Diana betrayed me.

Which brings me to why I’m stepping away from my blog. I need time. I used to love doing this. I used to love reading your comments and responding to them. I know I was always crass, and hoped I brought some smiles to people faces. I wanted to be enjoyable, and I hoped I pulled that off.

Now I want it over quickly, because I can’t stand it. And it was nothing any of you all did. It was the comics themselves that drove me away. I can’t stand the joke blog that started this. I know I made jokes about Diana and Bruce dating, because I thought that couple would have been funny. It would have been amusing, because of their nothing fights. How they would have played off each other. But now that Diana is spoken for, and that this is long term, I can’t smile at that any more.  I can’t enjoy it any more. I can’t enjoy her any more. She has no meaning to a female any more.

I was excited, before the announce meant came out, for issue #13 of Justice League. I was excited to see Diana get her moment in the sun. To get the chance to be seen the way I, and many fans saw her. But it wasn’t her moment in the sun, it was her time to be shoehorned in a relationship. Because that is all she was good for. She is the replacement for Lois Lane, and so now she has to act more like Lois than herself. Don’t get me wrong, Lois is great, but she is Lois, and Diana is Diana. Or at least she was.

I realize that this all, is silly and stupid. That this is such a first world problem and I have nothing to complain about, but it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that what made Diana special and wonderful is gone, because that means that girls like me, girls who need to be saved the most, wouldn’t have access to her. That Diana is dead. Wonder Woman is dead.

I know that its so fucking stupid. That a character, a person who doesn’t exist, can hurt me so bad. But it does. I spent a lot of time crying and knowing that I couldn’t come up with funny panel friday. I could barely open the books that I have. My backlog just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And I dread looking through it.

The trips to the comic shop, writing this blog, before the announcement were things I enjoyed. That I loved doing. DC robbed me of that. They robbed me of a lot of joy.  Worst of all, they rob me of you, the people who followed, who commented, who lurk. And I know it is stupid mentally, but emotionally, I can’t cut it away. And I know that it doesn’t matter. They just want my money, and don’t give two shits about my feelings. As long as I keep picking up issues.

I hate my brain. I hate what my PTSD decides for me what is important. That makes me judge my worth as a person by. And I’m sure that this is the post where I will be told to just kill myself and get over it by trolls. That they aren’t real, and that it doesn’t matter in the long run. And in a way, they are right.

So, for now, this is good bye. I don’t know if it is for good or not. I’m going to miss you all and I thank you for giving me the time of day to read my words, and letting me entain you. It has been a blast. I just wish it could have lasted longer.


A Bonus Blog -Backlog And Batwoman

NOTe: This was an old Blog post that said it posted but pulled a dick move and didn’t, so I am reposting it now. And because I think there are a few points that need to get out into the world.

Because my Comic was closed for a bit, and they are pretty much the only pony in town ((Not completely true, but the other places are not my boys damnit)) I have a huge backlog of comics that I have to get through. And we are talking a few, we are talking about fifty.

So because of that, I’m a bit behind. But Fear not, I have something to Bitch about!

Batwoman has been dropping the ball for me so hard core that it is driving me mad. Her and Wonder Woman may be in the same comic, but they might as well be half way across the world from one another, because I honestly could not buy they were working together. There is a little text box Diana has about how she is not as brave as Batwoman and basically a shitty human being.

Hey, Remember when Wonder Woman kicked some serious ass and was willing to do what ever it took to get the job done? Where she was a strong female character who didn’t need a man to drag her around and have someone basically control everything that she did? Yea? How she was the one out of the Trinty to do whatever it took to save the world, including killing a man even if it ment the two men she saw as her best friends and allies may never talk to her again? Yea, me too, and I want to know where the fuck did she go?

The New 52 Wonder Woman is complete shit. Her own comic isn’t about her, it’s about the new gods and everyone else in the story. SHe isn’t strong or Brave, she is just there. She is a prop. And it pains me to say that. I love Diana. Or more of I loved what was there before they decided that her only use was to get in Superman’s bed and not leave it. That her only worth is just to be Superman’s fuck toy, and that she is weak and whimpy. Fuck, she feels that way in her own comic. And they wonder why she isn’t selling. They removed all that made her Wonder Woman there. I hate how that has become the most important thing in the Universe, is what is going in Wonder Woman’s vagina. It shouldn’t be. As I have said so many fucking times before, That should not be the corner stone of your universe is two characters and their fucking relationship. It is still written like they are friends, and really, it should have ended 2 issues ago.  It has no where to go, and the characters have no contrast with each other. Contrast in a romantic relationship is what makes it interesting for the viewer, the reader, what have you. No Contrast, no Drama. DC is trying to force drama because everyone is against it. Which makes it come off forced. But That is a blog post for another day. Because I’m still pissed about it.

And she is coming that way in Batwoman. And the other problem I have with it is that Batwoman has become to fucking worder. I have issue 14, and got it before my shop was closed down for two weeks, and I just just can’t get through it. It’s like someone is trying to pull my teeth out of my head. There are though speeches, and they are fucking speeches, that these two women have that go fucking no where. And it would be much more interesting to see these two women interact. I was excited at first because I thought the real Wonder Woman was going to be in there. She isn’t.

I have been making jokes to my Fiancee that blue boot Wonder Woman isn’t Wondy. She is a puppet made by Cicere to think she is Wonder Woman, and make everyone else think that too. And Red Boot Wonder Woman is really out there somewhere, and when she breaks free, she is gonna kick the shit out of Blue Boot Wonder Woman. I would say that is what DC is leading up for, but really, that is never going to fucking happen, because that would be creative. And DC doesn’t do creative. They do gimmiky and bullshit.

Marvel does, and that new Deadpool comic is going to be the greatest thing ever.

Happy NEW YEAR!!

Some things can't be perfect. But this is damn close. And I am back to the batbeard damnit.

Some things can’t be perfect. But this is damn close. And I am back to the batbeard damnit.

Yet again, taking the day off because I’m lazy but we all knew this. I will see you all next year! It was either this or how stupid the Man of Steel, Woman of Keelxe is. Mostly because you can defend it with the fact that Superman’s piss doesn’t destory toliets. If his piss can’t do that, I doubt his sperm can go through walls, fly, and inpregnat everyone woman in a five mile radius. ((What? I have read the damn thing, unlike I guess, the people at DC))

My Goal next year is to get more into Marvel, because, well, they seem to treat women better and I’m sick of waiting for DC to remove their heads from their asses.

Being a bit of a pain.

I’m stuck in a few sucky potitions at the moment.

Tomorrow is my last final, and I have two papers due. My comic shop is also moving, so for two weeks now I haven’t been getting my comics. Plus I haven’t had time to read any of the comics I do have. I was hoping last week that I would have time, but alas, that didn’t happen.

I also am running into the problem, that for the most part, I don’t have much of a desire to read DC as of late. The constant life or death stuff that it feels like every issuse has is just old now. And the Subjection of Women is old, and I don’t want to beat on that again like a dead horse. And Superman has become the creepist motherfucker to me in their universe. ((Am I the only one who read him pretty much stalking both Diana and Lois in different comics? WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?)) Batman hasn’t had a break, having two events back to back, I don’t give a shit about Justice League any more and Wonder Woman has lost a lot of her appeal to me. I want to get into this a little deeper, and I promise that next week I will be back to poking fun and being my normal crazy self, so just bare with me.

And Marvel is just too good to make jokes about. Which was my point to making this blog….so I am a bit stuck at the moment.

But here is something fun I think you all will like.

Deadpool #1-What the hell have I been doing with my life.

I picked up the first Deadpool. I read it, sat myself down in a corner and cried. Don’t worry, it was tears of Joy.

Why you asked? Because Deadpool made me realize what a waste of a human being I was. I had been going to the comic shop for over a fucking year, and haven’t picked one up. It was amazing. I laughed, I cried tears of Joy, and then tears of Anger over what I had been missing out on.

Deadpool is balls to the wall amazing. It sets the scene well it in it’s first issues. Shit, over half of DC’s New 52 haven’t pulled that shit off. I know Deadpool is a goddamn ball of crazy, and issue one showed me that. Fuck, the first joke doesn’t even involve him.

The long and short of it is this. Some Jack off brought all the old presidents to life, and it is really up to Deadpool to stop them. Why Deadpool? Because fuck you, that’s why.

The Story isn’t any thing by Shakespeare, but really, it doesn’t need to be. I think that is part of the problem DC is having. They are trying to be to be and great but they have gotten rid of the background for almost everyone. We are told things but not shown them, so our emotional stake in them aren’t there. Plus, the only background we have are 13 issues. 14 if you count issue zeros, and ignore the annuals. And ignore the shit they say is canon even though it makes no fucking sense in with they have presented. Example being Batman Hush is cannon….But Catwoman doesn’t know that Batman is Bruce Wayne….even Thou that is the arc where he FUCKING TELLS HER! Marvel’s reboot isn’t so much as a reboot. It’s a RENUMBER, which is better. That’s what DC should have done. Now DC is in the boat that they have done too much and have become this uncontrollable mess that they can’t handle. 52 titles, that is what they are juggling, and losing writers left and right. So we are hinting in the old Canon, which is better because it is filler than the new stuff.  Which creates the issues that they are having now, were their characters aren’t even acting the same way; Such as all the Superman shit I can find he is either dating or married to Lois Lane. You know, the woman that they want him no where near. So that’s awkward. And an issue for another day.

But back to Deadpool; and really, the character is himself. It’s great. This is the first thing of Deadpool I have ever bought, but I seen him on forums and stuff, and giggled at everything I have seen. This put me in tears. Deadpool is being Deadpool; but that doesn’t mean we can’t see other characters be themselves. Captain America and Thor show up for a little bit, and they feel natural. DC, just to compare, doesn’t have that. Superman and Wonder Woman, as I have said, feel like Batman.  Not saying I don’t like Batman, because we all know about how I feel about that man, but they aren’t Batman. Wonder Woman doesn’t feel like her at all, and I keep picking it up hoping it will change for some fucked up reason. Superman, for a while, was nice to see shit bother him, but the problem is it got old. It became a question of why the fuck is he even acting like Clark Kent any more. He has no reason to pretend any more. He can go live on the watchtower and be Superman 24/7. One of the things that made Superman great, even though I am not a fan of him really, was that he had more humanity than Batman. But now he doesn’t.  And I started to miss the Blue Boy Scout. At Least then we had pieces of who he was.  But now he is a super powered Batman; as Wonder Woman is just Batman with Tits. So everyone is just a form of Batman in the DC Universe.

Damnit, I’m trying to stay on Deadpool. Really, It’s just Deadpool really highlighted a lot of issues that DC has for me now. DC lost what their characters were about. So their response was to make them Batman. Marvel said fuck it, we will renumber and keep shit the same. Then we will get new fans and keep the old ones happy. It’s a Win-Win. DC said, let’s shit on the old fans and keep all the new ones. The new ones are we need to keep happy, even though they haven’t shown any fucking loyalty to us.

Back to Deadpool, nothing is really explained yet, but for fuck sake it doesn’t really need to be. You know as much as Deadpool does, but he really just for fun. And they are trying to put him on a team. I can’t wait to see how that works out.

Wow, for talking about Marvel, I bitched about DC a lot. I think the problem inlays that Marvel is written better and I can’t joke about it.

I mean, shit, look at this panel.

Not even half of the funny shit in this thing.


Nothing I say is gonna top that.


Can I talk about capes for two seconds?

I want to talk fashion today, and as a girl, I can and will totally do that. And I’m feeling a little silly, so this isn’t gonna be that much. So let’s get started.

Okay, a lot of superheroes wear capes. Thor, Superman, Batman and Robin to name to a few; hell, even Wonder Woman has sported one every now and then.  It’s the fashion statement of the super powerful, of the great avengers, a quick way to identify a hero some times. Capes are the one piece of clothing that the Villains don’t really touch.

But really, they are just a good way to get you killed. I want to call them Villain Helpers. I mean, it can get sucked into things, like a jet engine, your day is fucked. Unless you are Superman, because let’s face it, he would fuck up the jet engine. Which if it was in the air, he would just destroy it. (And being that he flies around at the same height as Jets, it could happen.) So now he would he have to save the people on the plane he just destroyed.

Or Batman running around on the roof tops of Gotham, there are a lot of things that he could caught on. While I think that they won’t ended the Dark Knight with him choking himself, but really, it is a possibility. I mean, there he is chasing down a criminal and the damn cape gets caught on something.

Robin doesn’t have as much of a problem, being that he has a half cape.

But still I don’t understand what the deal with capes.

The DC Reboot is turning me into a Marvel fan….

Sorry this is going to be a little short today, but can I say something, DC is turning to me into Marvel fan.

I have picked up a few series from them; Gambit, Hawkeye, Captain Marvel, and now Uncanny Avengers. And holy shit, I have never, in my fucking life been so jazzed off an issue one before.

I know that I haven’t talked about them really, because, too me, there is no reason to talk to about something that has a narrative issues when  it doesn’t. I have attacked shit of the set up with relationships, such as Bruce and Natalya (ick) to Clark and Diana (FUCK MY LIFE). To just shitty story telling, like what happened to Batman in JLI #11.

Which brings me to Uncanny Avengers. OMG, I love the shit out of this issue. They did what I feel DC couldn’t do in fucking 11 issues that Marvel did in one. What did Marvel do? It set up characters and their personalities, setting up the main villain and even setting up some sort of relationships between the characters, in one fucking issue. It’s good. I don’t know much about marvel, outside of the movies, and the X-Men cartoon, so I don’t know if there is a big difference between how these characters are acting now verse how they acted before it. But damn if it isn’t good. And I don’t want to give a spoiler away, but damn that was an ending that makes me can’t wait til next week.

In 11 issues, DC couldn’t do that with the Justice LEague. Don’t believe me, here is some food for though, which super hero am I describing:

It’s a man with Black hair, Blue eyes, and both his parents are dead. He is a superhero who has to keep his identity a secret to protect those around him from his enemies. And he is lonely.

Now was the Superman or Batman? You know what, I’m not sure either? Why? Because DC has just gone and decide to make all their character’s have one personality trait. So the trinity really isn’t there any more, because all three of them, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman are just that. A one trick personality of Loneliness. They are all lonely, Lonely LONELY PEOPLE! DID YOU GET THEY THAT ARE LONELY?!?! BECAUSE THEY ARE LONELY!!! Which I ask why they fuck haven’t they killed themselves. They should drink some poison together and wait for the loneliness to eat them inside.

The trinity was something that made DC special. They had a great balance. They don’t now. They are a trinity made of Batman alone, and there is no balance to that. Lois and Clark’s relationship made their universe special.  Now they don’t have either of that. So what is the point I ask? I was picking up Superman because I wanted to see Lois and Clark get together. I wanted to see Clark grow a pair and ask Lois out himself, not starting to date her as Superman. But now, they flat out said that isn’t going to happen. So I stopped picking it up. I don’t like seeing Wonder Woman, a symbol of feminism, attached to the one man she has to play second banana too, so Justice League got dropped. That and I shouldn’t have found out by a fucking announcement but by good writing to put in into the comic.  What did they get replaced with?

Marvel Titles. MARVEL FUCKING TITLES. Why? Because they are interesting. Because they don’t treat women as object for their male characters. And I can get behind that.

If all the Marvel Now Titles are going to be like this, I can’t wait for them.