Science, in my comics, it least likely than you think…

Another silly rant but this one deals with comics.

I have been rereading over Final Crisis, Return of Bruce Wayne and a few other trades relating to Batman’s temporary dirt nap or vacation outside of the main storyline, whatever you want to call it. And I have one thing to say that has pretty much been bothering me the first time I read them.

He is making the cave painting wrong. And it bothers me. It bothers me that they couldn’t bother to look up how the fuck cave paintings were made. And don’t be like, well, we didn’t know how they did it and we can do it however.

Because, well, we know how they did it. We know there were a bunch of techniques that our early ancestors used to make cave paintings, the most common being one called stencilling. This involved taking whatever meaning of paint you were using, you chewed it up, and spit it onto the wall: This is nice for archeologist because these paintings tend a lot brighter and easier to study. So when Tim finds it in Iraq, he would be able to see the freaking thing. Not if Bruce just drew it on the wall like they had him do.

You won’t be able to see it Tim, not with that flare….. [Red Robin: The Grail ’10]

And one, Bruce is in Iraq…..IN THE FREAKING PALEOLITHIC. Now, Iraq in the Paleolithic looked way different than it does today. It was green, because it is in what was once called Fertile Crescent (also called the Cradle of Civilization.) Why would one call it this, because, I unno, it is fertile as shit? This is the place were farming was fucking born. Almost like a garden of fucking Eden.

Mmmm….Were is the fucking fertileness? [Return of Bruce Wanye The Deluxe Edition ’11]

 So it should be green. Well, greener, they do have a few bits of green. This is where we got lots of herd animals and started farming. If it wasn’t for the Fertile Crescent, life would be nothing like how we know it now. We would probably not have become masters of the land. If we managed to survival at all. I can say that with a lot of certainty. And it isn’t like the Fertile Crescent is a new idea in archeology. No, this idea has been around for at least a hundred years.

These people he is with could be still be hunter and gathers, but they lived were it was green. Living in a desert at this point was suicide. And our Ancestors weren’t stupid. If they were, we would have died out. They went were the food was.

I just wish someone had bothered to look this up. It is on freaking Wikipedia. I can let the cave painting stuff go, but the Fertile Crescent crap I can’t. It doesn’t work for me at all. Why isn’t it green? It would have taken two seconds and I know I’m nitpicking, but this is what I’m studying. So to me, it would have been even more awesome to have them do the freaking research.

Well, I cared about it.  Not sure anyone one else does.